Tuesday, September 24, 2013

America The Meager (sestina revised) For poets who don't believe in editing!!!



Alive burning with fire consumes me                                                               
Ready freedom burns me                                                                    
World full of disputes                                                                                     
House of ill repute                                                                                          
Esteem pollutes forbidden fruit                                                                       
Pursuit of dreams                                                                                            

American happiness is not pursuit of dreams                                                   
American dream a lie, fire consumes me                                                          
Covered clotted cream, forbidden fruit                                                                       
Deceit, the lie of the American dream burns me                                             
Life in the house of ill repute                                                                          
Americans drenched in disputes                                                                      

Freedom from consumerism                                                                            
Important to pursue the dream                                                                       
Caught up in ill repute                                                                                    
Desires feeds disputes                                                                                     
Dirty hands burn me                                                                                       
For sale, buy my forbidden fruit                                                                      

Can’t hide away forbidden fruit                                                          
Lust consumes me                                                                                          
Thirst so strong, it burns me                                                                           
Cravings coerced, reimbursed dreams                                                             
Yearnings lead to disputes                                                                               
Borne and bred of ill repute                                                                            

Iraq, Beirut, wars of ill repute                                                                         
Oil the biggest forbidden fruit                                                                        
Observing abuse consumes me                                                                        
Obliterating abuse causes disputes                                                                  
Inflicting suffering drowns dreams                                                                   
Blues burn me                                                                                                 

Trickle down abuse burns me                                                                         
Weak forced to accept ill repute                                                                     
Eradicates man’s right to dream                                                                      
Access to achieve forbidden fruit                                                                     
Denials of basic rights consumes me                                                               
Animal abuse and pollution, root of many disputes                                         

Equity and decency consume me, fear burns me                                             
Disputes, hurt heart, search escape from ill repute                                                      Forbidden fruits multiply wealthy; cancel out poor man’s dreams       


***
Oftentimes as editor for the TCSR, people will send me poems to ask for thoughts or advice. When I honestly point out a misspelling or misuse of word, or give an example of what could improve the poem, i.e. changing a few words around, the biggest response I get is "I don't believe in editing my poems. The poem comes out the first time the way it should be." 

Well, here is the proof that it really helps to work on a poem, to edit errors, and to reconsider word usage. It makes a difference. 

As you can see, in the earlier version, inadvertently I used consume twice in two lines in one stanza which led to repetition, and since this form is essentially repetitious in its form, it works better to use a different word ending for each line of each stanza. 

Any thoughts fellow poets?

Friday, September 20, 2013

AMERICA THE MEAGER (sestina)

Alive burning with fire consumes me
Ready freedom burns me
Disputes consume me
House of ill repute
Esteem pollutes forbidden fruit
Pursuit of dreams

American happiness is not pursuit of dreams
American dream a lie, fire consumes me
Covered clotted cream, forbidden fruit
Deceit, the lie of the American dream burns me
Life in the house of ill repute
Americans, wish I weren’t consumed

Freedom from consumerism
Important to pursue the dream
Caught up in ill repute
Desire consumes me
Dirty hands burn me
For sale, buy my forbidden fruit

Can’t hide away forbidden fruit
Lust consumes me
Thirst so strong, it burns me
Cravings coerced, reimbursed dreams
Yearnings consume me
Borne and bred of ill repute

Iraq, Beirut, wars of ill repute
Oil the biggest forbidden fruit
Observing abuse consumes me
Obliterating abuse consumes me
Inflicting suffering drowns dreams
Blues burn me

Trickle down abuse burns me
Weak forced to accept ill repute
Eradicates man’s right to dream
Access to achieve forbidden fruit
Denials of basic rights consumes me
Animal abuse and pollution consume me

Wrenched heart, fear consumes and burns me
Equity and decency consume me, searching escape from ill repute Forbidden fruits multiply wealthy citizens; cancel out poor man’s dreams



This is written in sestina form:
1st Stanza   ABCDEF 
2nd Stanza  FAEBDC
3rd Stanza  CFDABE
4th Stanza  ECBFAD
5th Stanza  DEACFB
6th Stanza  BDFECA

The last 3 lines are formatted thus
AB
CD
EF

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Searching For Sunshine


Ain’t no sun up in my sky today
Rain keeps falling on my head
Got the blues so bad I’m dancing with fire
in hellish nights with no end
Promises and dreams not in sight
No delight in life
a bout inside, an an endless fight
in a world where nothing’s right

No sun up in my sky, too down to cry
waiting on motivation that can't come
Dream daily
Lying awake waiting for my lover to come on home
Frustration growing
waiting on lover makes me quirky that way

Comes sneaking through the bedroom 
door in the dead of night
Bed bathed in moonlight
Soft red hair brushes my shoulder
Our promises of together forever have grown older
Each day colder

As she lies down beside me
My eyes closed, pretend I’m asleep
Awake to an empty bed
Gone, left
With words unsaid

Sadness never ends
Never thought we’d end that way
Rain taps on windowpane
Listen in solitary solace
Left me on a rainy day

Called later, said she had to go,
Had someone waiting on her
Someone easier to abide, 
Someone to turn the tides
Someone to resolve dissatisfaction
Permeating our relations
Someone older, more mature

Someone sensitive who knew
how to make love
Someone who understood
Standing in the rain, alone

Clothes drenched through to skin
Each day hope rain will go away
tears blending with rain
sun’s gone away
rains refuse to abate




Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Another Peace Poem

Foster peace in a universe of abuse
Choose peace over sorrows and regrets, let loose
Excuse my bluntness while I try to mend my foolish heart

I’m begging you please
A piece of the pie
The all American style
I want peace
peace in every nation
peace on every occasion
in every location personal to station wide
a vacation from substance abuse
peace in a universe based on contempt
give me some peas in a pod,
I’ll give you a nursery breeding on continuums
of overpopulation saturated with misinformation
I’ll give you a universe one score and five million years ago
a new universe was born of peace, responsibility, utility,
continuity of many species
Make peace or face destruction of varied species of life
including the human race
or be at peace, meditation replaces medication
the one becomes the all
the all becomes the one and there will be peace