Thursday, December 19, 2019



I want to cry for my lost dreams. 
That house made of stone and glass 
with all wood inside the fame 
and fortune I never gained, 
the way my heart has been maimed 
my life tamed and bought at the corner store. 
Dreams estranged 
caught up in the buzz of busy bees
 living day to day in a maze 
on a pension fund 
Money I earned not charity 
driving safe in the slow zone. 
No airs or golden chalices, 
standardized morphing of reality 
Leave me to blaze on a hot day 
Sweat with no underwear. 
I fear for the living dead. 
Live life in my head 
less than half my dreams 
never come to fruition
because I’m not Annie Malone, 
neither is he 
change your tone please, 
Don't use your phone 
while we're having this conversation. 
I want to be a milliner
Tired of infighting, 
heart a siren, beats with desire 
Set the sky on fire, bring souls out of mire, 
stir the fires of love
Ignore the jive of each haze, 
the latest craze
Always some new malaise 
Live like lost
In a moon phase
Do my best to stay alive and thrive

Sunday, November 24, 2019

Live in Poetic Entrancement

I’m not a rapper or a rhymer 
I refuse to be defined except as poet
I’m a social climber, not on a timer
I’m an old timer, been through a lot
Since born
I’m a writer, half-assed extrovert, an undercover introvert
I write all day till my hands hurt
Use a keyboard and mouse to type
Send out memos to me and everyone else, 
Letters, reminders, 
So busy I go crazy
Live in a bluesday concert of my making
Try to avoid being hurt is like trying to avoid living
I indulge in frozen fruit parfait I make
Grab it!   Life’s for the taking do our best to make it matter. Proclaim! … Lives Matter!

I cry for lost dreams. Houses made of stone and glass, all wood inside the fame and fortune never gained, the way my heart has been maimed, my life tamed and bought at the corner store. Dreams estranged ~ caught up in the buzz of busy bees living day to day in a maze on a pension fund money I earned, not charity, driving safe in the slow zone. No airs or golden chalices standardized morphing of reality leave me to blaze on a hot day with no underwear. I fear living dead. Live in my head less than half of it never comes to be because I am alone, lost in a phone yet I want to be like Annie Malone and be me. I want to be her, still I see, neither is he. 

Change your tone; don't use your phone while we're having this conversation. 

I want to be Annie Malone – the first Black woman in the US to take the world by storm.
Found her accidentally on the net while searching for my old colleague Annie Malone. 
Blown away in awe, – Annie Malone was ahead of her time, born August 9, 1869 – A chime went off in my head to read… 

American businesswoman, inventor, and philanthropist, Annie Malone came from a simple life. Annie manufactured products revolutionizing hair care for Black women. That’s my goal – be a hero, a superwoman, spokeswoman, for groups who appreciate a different kind of Annie Malone, a noblewoman, a strong secure woman, a give society-her due woman instead of suffering anxiety, 

Gavin’s notoriety or mine. How much sobriety do you need to see the vitality? Like royalty live by misconception that insanity is the rule of the day. People say they want different, yet prefer compliancy, ignore morality impiously siding with majority, fear authority. Standing in a minority is gaining seniority. Gives me hope that one day we’ll be a supermajority and redevelop the meaning of authority. The Cherokees are the original owners yet were thrown away for currency. 

Finally accept this is life and I’d rather do this then push up daisies
Keep all kinds of lists because the To Do’s persist
in running my existence while I attempt to stay cool ~be a shamanist
Get more abstractionist as I age, when I was younger, psychiatrists said I was too literal
Couldn’t see me being lyrical
I preach everyone’s crazy only some us don’t recognize how crazy we have become to survive.

Thursday, June 20, 2019

The eye in my sky is crying

The eye in my sky is crying

See my fears roll down the street
Tears allayed by stares in space
A cell phone in hand, no dial tone, a blues band commands my adrenal glands
Understand it’s my wedding band, not a new brand of incense,
I take a firm stand on a crash land course stuck in the Meadowlands of York
Passion fruit seeps from my sweat glands
Swerving into oblivion on the freeway, an alien shaman ~ that’s me
An alligator devoured my right hand – Now 2 left feet remain
Beauty is nothing but a backdrop for the blues
We all want beauty, peace, a little food, and empathy
I keep trying and failing to decompartmentalize; an exemplary fit
Lost my wit – cut it out stupid twit see what’s writ do as befits, 
I observe others fare better 

The eye in my sky reflects humanity’s tears,
their fears that life can’t be any better or go anywhere 
except to all one place eventually
Do you want to be easily forgotten, your family here
A score or two more, no one will know you
Damn, give your shell to charity
No formaldehyde either please, I use the excuse I’m Jewish; bury me green, please 
I keep saying son, it will pass you by before we come noon to sun
Is this how you want to spend your last day

My man loves his drugs
Almost as much or more than me
He gets them easily supercalifragilisticexpialidociously,

Tons of prescriptions legally
His drugs do him right
Momentarily maniacal he says he’s feeling’ so tight
I see him in a new light struggling to write
Doctrinally following clinical struggles, a mix of Geodon, Ambien, Lamotrigine, 
To name a few - some are noxious, others only for allergies
Billy Jean’s not his lover, enervated after meds 
no more energy to survive when he’s done, 
Throw some synergy into the fray
Walking up Bombay Broadway 
Brings me back to tears rolling down the street
I refuse to admit defeat, repeat it all again and again
The eye in my sky is crying


Friday, May 31, 2019


Waiting on a revelation about the coming revolution 
It’s slow no one wants to know we’re just a bunch of good little soldiers
Doing what we’re told to
I’ve made no resolution to begin a revolution 
I want to see people treated fair
I turn to me, say, see me free to be fair to me
Set me free outside myself
Set me free, let me be me
 “my bad” will set me free 
deny the naysayers, haters and dis abusers

See me
An angel cast from heaven 
because of my big mouth, I was sentenced to hell on earth 
fallen from grace, a casualty for being me
Set me free from this insanity, this rat eat rat culture
We waifs wander the street
like abused common yard rats we want to be set free. 
Even rats are drawn to starlight and 
love to feel the earth beneath their feet instead of the hard city pavement 
where we are caged together
dining on musical words helps me while away my days 
whilst I sit here and await my fate in the next genocide an autolytic sourpuss

pray, permit me to continue
in a prison, I sit awaiting sentence
my pitiful existence pale compared to thee
cast me from your kingdom
wandering searching far from home
am a product of your fear and castoff genius combined
disowned and disavowed
Wings stolen while I awakened from a nightmare to discover
I lived a life not mine
Worrying doesn't help

Accepting unfair demands doesn't help either but what if you don’t have a choice
easy for you to say let it go and let it be
Let it go and let me free, let it go and set me free
On wings, I flew once with you as an angel now cast from your grace
Laugh as you look down upon me pleading to be set free
And you say girl you had it the way you wanted to be
You ask to be set free
I set you free and now you want to come back to me.
Pity about those set free who want to come back to me
Being me who’s no longer me is no fun even when you think you want to be free
Once you rode on wings you could spread but you prayed me to let you be free 
Now you beg to come home and it’s too late to let you back in my grace
Let it all go daughter, let it all go so you return to be 
an angel spreading her wings – wings fashioned from dreams - 
wings with kaleidoscope colors 

Saturday, February 02, 2019

I Live My Life In A Purple Haze

Not just a faze, a way of life back in the 60s, 
purple haze was an LSD craze 
now under my hearts gaze 
Lost in my mind's maze
Can’t get a social security raise
Keep wondering about ways 
To enjoy the sun’s rays
And get out of this malaise
Can’t get ahead, keep moving sideways
I’m only human, feeling so blasé after so many days
unexcited with exceptions to every rule I face
Lost in a different kind of haze not knowing where I am in this  phase of my life, not trifle
Rephrase the question which is the answer to why I’m living this way, I’m only human, so fuck you too
I don’t need money to flex
I flex my humanity instead of money
I agree, must be the end of days

Sunday, January 13, 2019

Heart’s Navigation into My Soul

Slowly painfully melt into oblivion, fight, make my way to differentiation, not game, 
work for concentration, live in a hazy intoxication of my making
Not wise to make assumptions leads to my demised corruption 
Not about my occupation still kicking today for another day
Liberation from knowledge about his medication
What that means in expression or the conclusion
Life is a series of reflections 
A projection of ourselves like live cinema screen
Regression into vegetation – initiation into some cruel occupation of my soul wanders
Through listless impressions. dedication to a life I know nothing of
Exploration of a faceless alibi, compression of frustration, I hold back
Seek restitution, restoration for what I never owned

I want to drink a bottle of wine, talk about hard times
I want to sit and drink this wine, sit and worry about my decline
I want to drink this wine and think about fine times
I want to climb up high and forget reality
I want to forget slime balls I meet and center on my bloodline
Settle on bloodline, like settling on a landmine
Know life is on a deadline, it’s asinine
Trying to believe in divine isn’t the goldmine 
Want to conquer the fierce divide
I want to live in oblivion 
I can’t take the pain
Pain rears his ugly head disdainfully
Again and again…
Pain reverberates, vibrates in my head
hear the only relief is death 
want to avoid that choice
Live inside of my head
Avoid the world outside 
Daddy preached the world is a dangerous place
Filled with pitfalls, delusions of grandeur  
Fear says insolation is perfect solution
Life lived inside dreams, hidden away – Daddy's way
Seek relief in dreams 
Search for who I could be
If only I’d stop hiding away
insane in the membrane of my brain
I struggle to stay sane

Saturday, January 05, 2019


You need to wake up, live in a daze
a haze of days
Morning noon and night
It ain’t right but there’s no way to stop you
Like talking the living to the dead
Entire life living in the red,
sleep and rest in the bed
it’s my bad nothing eases the pain
pills night and day - no way to stop you
The mental and physical anguish remains the same as you push life to exsanguinate
your blood thins day by day, tire so easy it’s all breezy and good,
you examine your mind, it’s more than a faze
but it’s all good
You explain the drugs are legally prescribed by many different doctors who listen to your complaints
They prescribe pills to alleviate the gaze of hazy pain you live in
Describe pain where it maintains a domicile in your head –
it possesses you, obsesses you search for a nonexistent cure
Can’t accept the prognosis, 18 drugs a day all prescribed to the beat of your heart.
Slows the glow / the glue holding you together disappears in my heart.
Another pill won’t cure your ills. Determine the excess of the access or access to excuse
Excuse me, I meant excess the distress, there’s no elixir to create a victor,
It’s all downhill by doctor’s goodwill
I profess I’m consumed and confused;
is it the syndrome about which comes first - the chicken or the egg?
A stitch in time ain’t worth a dime, do you have the time
On the road to enlightenment, forget sentiments the buck stops here.
Watch on the sidelines while u struggle for a quick exit
Living life like you’re fit to be tied, live life on an incline
Live the fast lane
You’ll regret it, lose out in the end living inside your mind won’t suffice or change the end. Tell myself and tell you.
My words fade in the southwestern wind turning southerly
while we dismiss lists
Stuck in an abyss, lost in time, fade in the dreamer
Stare at your demeanor, lost and found, I stand my ground while Jill comes tumbling after and Jack can’t find his crown
Search through the valley of death
Surmise the crease in your pants
Cry another dance, dry tears in my eyes.
My vision blurred by raindrops falling. 
Remember to see the sea widens
fear to die in the midst of a dream becomes real
You will heal from the power of words I implore