Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Happy New Year Everyone

Submission guidelines

We bare ourselves – down to our easily assailable and accessible frail frames to be known in the biblical sense as well as the primary sense when we (writers) create a new true being – a character who others relate to. Everything I spit is born two entities, how the other sees himself and my vision of that person. Since childhood my visions of the world has been very adult having had my parent’s bitter life view force-fed me since my birth. The way this affects me is that I relate to the world by constantly studying everyone around me since we are all cast in our own life drama novels anyway. No one wants to live in a drama but we often do even when it’s third hand or when we are just all “watchers” like in the fringe or living inside Jackson’s Lottery.

A long time ago – in two separate universes – one undergraduate writing class at Columbia University General Studies and the other two decades later in the Master’s Degree Creative Writing Program at The City University of New York City, A comment/ question was made regarding my style.

A fellow student said, “her characters lack any empathy; for my part they’re completely lacking. Why should I care about them?”

Basically both professors said the same; “The point is not whether you like them or not, but that you feel something about them. You may not like her characters, but they are real enough to tick you off. I care about what her characters will do next and that’s more important than liking or not liking them because that will keep me reading!” After this the class calmed down about my characters’ personalities. All I can guess is that they led more conservative sheltered circumscribed lives than me.

Not to disappoint but I also had the opposite happen with a weak instructor who later stole a few lines from my writing. He asked for my complete novel and I stupidly gave it to him. The class said I’d already presented enough when one of those times was an assignment no one else did – we were asked to choose a character from history and write a page or two about them. I read mine since no one else had one. Ah well, I was disappointed he didn’t defend me since I clearly hadn’t presented my two short stories. It bothered me but I pity him too as he hasn’t written anything worth reading in a while after he stooped to a new low. No one else from there gained name fame either so ... onwards all to a new phase and forgetting the past!

Creative people often set a standard and in that standard social commentary is included. If you don’t like a character I’ve made, that character has already served his purpose because he has provoked your dislike and judgments.

Writing is all I know and the only way to show true purpose. I’m also part of my own commentary emerging from a consistently frightful analytic mind. That said, like everyone else, I only want to be my best.

Ta Da!

Back to where we began:

May your new year be all that you wish it be; blessed be.

Monday, December 28, 2009


The plague of my life has always been
I’m not Jewish enough to be Jewish
Although over the years I’ve had several
Jewish girl friends, I can count them on one hand

No Jewish man has ever wanted me except
for some really despicable Jewish male perverts
and I’ve never figured out the reason
why I’ve always been an outcast among my
own people, and then, even my therapist told me

“It’s all because you don’t know the difference
between a schlemiel and a schlimazel,” I said
to my therapist, “Andy, don’t be a schlemiel,
a schlemiel is a jerk and schlimazel means
an inept jerk who’s persistently luckless.”

“No,” he said, “you’re wrong and even Ellen
knows the difference,” “Oh com’on” I said,
“what is there to know, you’re making this
up to tease me,” “Oh no I’m not,” he said,

“a schlemiel is someone who
is Jewish who doesn’t know
how to tie his tie properly
and the other is what you said.”

I do wonder what Andy’s going on about
My mother was Jewish orthodox and
my father was Russian Jew and how
much more Jewish can you get than that?
The point is, ... I’m still not Jewish enough ...

Then he said “Even a Jewish atheist would know-
-but the gist of it is, that you don’t know enough
about the culture to be with a Jewish man
who gets pleasure from being around other Jews
who can understand the language they speak.”

What can I do?
Being an outcast
is difficult at best!

© 2005 More of my "jewish" poetry can be seen at http://joyleftow.com

Wednesday, December 16, 2009


My Dad was a music man. He played the violin
like his father and grandfather before him
stroking it for the breath of an angel
He played everything by ear
He could compel any violin to his will
Dad wasn’t allowed to be a violinist
instead, he was forced to leave school to
work as an apprentice in a drug store
And he became a pharmacist
bitter to the core, never learning
what it was to express himself freely
to enrich his spirit by playing music
He only played his violin to gain
relief and solace from his burden
of helping to support his family
Pity, because Dad should’ve been a
musician giving life to a violin

©2002 re-edited 2009

Saturday, December 12, 2009


I keep trying to tread water in quicksand sinking faster in disgrace in the face of disaster

Life is a carousel of dreams

The famous radio therapist armond demille wrote me his words linger in my head get off your carousel of pain

allow me to help you

as a fellow therapist with professional courtesy due you, I’ll charge you only three hundred a session, a concession in my normal fees, I’ll cure you of your anomaly, your obsessions, give me your confession sacrifice your worldly possessions give up your attachments there’ll be no regression, I’m so darn good at my profession – no more transgressions no more depression

no more digression back to the blues tonight

I can’t be perfect I can only be me

A man stopped me at target all smiles, making eye contact, he nods.

merry Christmas to you. I don’t celebrate Christmas. I respond, you’re smiling so much you’re so happy why?

Ah happy with family at Christmas u must celebrate something too what r u

I don’t know what I am Call me Jewish Buddhist if you want –

But you look happy he said Looks are deceiving I said You joke he said you’re happy I see you smile really I said I’m always blue I don’t believe you

I don’t know how to limit myself to one religion

Dubblex is confused they always pick you – why your pretty face in a store full of women- there are so many women around why do they always come to u - he accused

Innocence devious claim to name fame our goals

The “all religion” ~ old religion

all religions are one – the word shall be one shall be done in heart space mind prevails so many travails hate to fail no bailing out I wail in my own jail hit the nail on the head

the world shall be one

one one one (((((((((oneoneoneoneoneoneone))))))) the one and one Irie

lightening and thunder

one nation under god indivisible with liberty and justice for all

one people united by love with peace and justice for all

I want the world on a string to spin in my my my my my my heart’s spin in a gleam with a ream of justice in economy for all full of bull

A wedding ring an office slur poetry in the afterlife

nose too big stomach too flabby

It’s inflatable unpredictable accounts payable receivable I’m not accountable for your bills my assets are not bequeathable retractable to your psycho babble circumscribable to your collectable circumstancial financials I’m familiar with the details

Fastidious and obsessive compulsive a hidden insidious agenda oblivious to the truth

I keep up with doctor ruth who lives in my hood

Embracing brotherhood understood under the fresh scent of cedarwood tree

The world will imbibe truth like a newborn with a new milk tooth

forsooth my youth I search like a sleuth

for the word shall be the truth

and the truth will set me free

Monday, December 07, 2009

I Am ...

I am a woman who’s had a hard life,
a woman of great lust, a survivor of strife
a woman graced by starlight and the morning star
a woman of delight nourished by dreams from afar

I am a woman who’s soul has been drained
drained and replenished again and again
a woman wrenched fiercely from all
that I’ve loved
who’s had moments of satiety, sobriety,
wonder and lust
a woman who rarely experiences trust

I am a woman who is secure and insecure
I know what I have and how to use it
but also fear its loss
I am a woman who possesses
great energy and insight
who owns potency as much as any
man I’ve ever met

I am a woman of great determination,
initiative and skill
Some say I’m opinionated, afraid I’ll bend
them to my will

they ignore my flexibility,
concentrate on my fear,
not seeing my ability
to metamorphasize,
to go with the flow
I am a woman not easily beaten
I have stamina for sure

I am a woman who will never give up
Who will be eighty and be active sexually,
still growing, mothering and loving

I am a woman who will always be strong,
it may continue forever, if I have another life
I will never give up - will never give up - never give up

I am a woman who works hard for all
that I have and all that I’ve lost
A survivor, a winner, a mover, a lover,
and someone’s mother
when threatened in her lair
a woman of strong suspicions, angers and fears

I am a woman who loves many people
who’s chosen profession is proof of love’s power
I am a woman who will fight ferociously

I am a woman who possesses great power
with ability to bestow great love
I give to all who have been disavowed,
hurt, abused and neglected

I am a woman defined by desire,
a risk taker by choice,
a woman with large sensitivity,
charm, and proclivity,

I am a woman who will always do more

© 2005

Sunday, December 06, 2009

city bus intrusion

The young brunette on my left turned to me
donned a pair of huge square shaped red rimmed sunglasses with green lenses
the price tag still hanging from the frame
How do these look, she asked.
The bottoms of each rim slid smoothly over her cheekbones almost reaching the end of her nose
what’s the point I said unless you need to hide your face because you’re a famous movie star or you want to fool people into thinking you’re one.
I don’t see why you’d want to cover up such a lovely face.
She enigmatically pulled another pair from her purse
How about these she said enthusiastically
Putting on a translucent purple-rimmed frame with gray lenses
a slim lined cats’ eye wrap around shade
exposing high cheekbones and smooth skin
Hmm I said I like these better, you look mysterious
plus your pretty face isn’t hidden away
The matronly lady on her other side scolded me
how rude you are to say that
Those red glasses are perfectly lovely
they fit you divinely
she said to my seatmate smiling
Well I prefer the violet and she did ask my opinion
Would you have rather have me lie?
I see many women wearing those big framed ugly glasses and it doesn’t do much for them either
You asked my opinion didn’t you want to know it?
The young lady put the mammoth red framed glasses back on and turned to her new BFF
Those look very nice dear, the old lady said, I like these best
They suit you just fine
Ah me too said the young girl putting away the violet ones
I like these best too she said, turning away from me
I think I’ll wear these

© another true story by violet

Tuesday, December 01, 2009

Kick These Blues Around - bluetry #11

Vanilla frost skies roll thunder tributaries to another universe from my inner space continuum
peace into practice, activ -ity verily elemental I say unto you fred while I inadvertently turn my head

Got my flow on the rhythm of the down low joe if you know where to go to catch my drift

Ejaculation crashed against shores of revolution still seeking solutions in slow jerks instead of bred he offered her concrete proposals and requested favors for which he gave her candy.

No worries, took the devil’s deal and he even refused my original proposal.

I’m that bad - hear your belly laugh.

I’m a kind-of lonely kind-er-garten-er longing for laughter. Humanity’s incipient recipient spiritual guide hovers near offers incise insipid bites of one size fits all incrementing advice for what it’s worth – let the dogs out - cash out on lock down blues let loose to see what they do, a trombone’s misery, the down home blues conspiracy

Poetry thunder back in the day in a smoky cafe in east Harlem reading next to alan ginsberg, no go, not the me you know the one I was back then when I met him.
All right it’s a downright lie. Met him at a dark dank theatre in the east Village with his 20-year old boy toy. Which version do ya’ like better?

Poetry, networking, writing editing posting - promoting, poet @ poetry poetessing protesting being me, do you do what I do every day ~ do I do enough to satisfy you madame ginsberg, establish exacerbate emolliate emancipate your rage, engage you in becoming your age. Do you no write from wrong? Are you worried I’m not free enough of need to write like I’ve come undone, my fury unleashed turned fairy into solemnity Mary in May when I tried to wine and dine her, she made me dismantle my soul instead.

Soul inspiration you’re too old to decay before the sunset light my fire outside your soul’s window while I sing my blues to you.

Aching all over wonder how long I’ll survive to a hundred and five maybe eighty five wtf I don’t know what to do when I do what you do when I become you in my flurry frost forsaken fury lust lettered red. Memory records voices run on in my head on elemental disk space in my brain. Penis in my hands, a dandy thing, a dick & pussy. Silly putty pussy, eye-scan. Penis inside brain scan

desire ~ diaries she told me the history of her pussy it made me want to join the line.

Strangle out negatives no undo’s to become undone- progressive linear faith while awaiting with grace won in non linear to do getting done - proceed in all directions at once abstractions go back and forth with a new mazed dawn suddenly seeing new energy forms, intrinsic instinctual inhabitable happiness, death a no go to provenience

Liberty the right to pursue happiness peace hand held evolution a solution dedicated to the handstand I stand on end about to implode explode my spaghetti solutions to allusion gut solved evolutions pour out my ass-ness with sassiness a little fruitfulness

Lettuce find the source of the force lost in series of unfortunate masquerades of delusion, an allusion to who I am, an illusion, illustration for the children my minds been set a fire.

Catch a fire you’re gonna get burned.