Sunday, January 13, 2019

Heart’s Navigation into My Soul

Slowly painfully melt into oblivion, fight, make my way to differentiation, not game, 
work for concentration, live in a hazy intoxication of my making
Not wise to make assumptions leads to my demised corruption 
Not about my occupation still kicking today for another day
Liberation from knowledge about his medication
What that means in expression or the conclusion
Life is a series of reflections 
A projection of ourselves like live cinema screen
Regression into vegetation – initiation into some cruel occupation of my soul wanders
Through listless impressions. dedication to a life I know nothing of
Exploration of a faceless alibi, compression of frustration, I hold back
Seek restitution, restoration for what I never owned

I want to drink a bottle of wine, talk about hard times
I want to sit and drink this wine, sit and worry about my decline
I want to drink this wine and think about fine times
I want to climb up high and forget reality
I want to forget slime balls I meet and center on my bloodline
Settle on bloodline, like settling on a landmine
Know life is on a deadline, it’s asinine
Trying to believe in divine isn’t the goldmine 
Want to conquer the fierce divide
I want to live in oblivion 
I can’t take the pain
Pain rears his ugly head disdainfully
Again and again…
Pain reverberates, vibrates in my head
hear the only relief is death 
want to avoid that choice
Live inside of my head
Avoid the world outside 
Daddy preached the world is a dangerous place
Filled with pitfalls, delusions of grandeur  
Fear says insolation is perfect solution
Life lived inside dreams, hidden away – Daddy's way
Seek relief in dreams 
Search for who I could be
If only I’d stop hiding away
insane in the membrane of my brain
I struggle to stay sane

Saturday, January 05, 2019

REINCARNATION TO A NEW LIFE


You need to wake up, live in a daze
a haze of days
Morning noon and night
It ain’t right but there’s no way to stop you
Like talking the living to the dead
Entire life living in the red,
sleep and rest in the bed
it’s my bad nothing eases the pain
pills night and day - no way to stop you
The mental and physical anguish remains the same as you push life to exsanguinate
your blood thins day by day, tire so easy it’s all breezy and good,
you examine your mind, it’s more than a faze
but it’s all good
You explain the drugs are legally prescribed by many different doctors who listen to your complaints
They prescribe pills to alleviate the gaze of hazy pain you live in
Describe pain where it maintains a domicile in your head –
it possesses you, obsesses you search for a nonexistent cure
Can’t accept the prognosis, 18 drugs a day all prescribed to the beat of your heart.
Slows the glow / the glue holding you together disappears in my heart.
Another pill won’t cure your ills. Determine the excess of the access or access to excuse
Excuse me, I meant excess the distress, there’s no elixir to create a victor,
It’s all downhill by doctor’s goodwill
I profess I’m consumed and confused;
is it the syndrome about which comes first - the chicken or the egg?
A stitch in time ain’t worth a dime, do you have the time
On the road to enlightenment, forget sentiments the buck stops here.
Watch on the sidelines while u struggle for a quick exit
Living life like you’re fit to be tied, live life on an incline
Live the fast lane
You’ll regret it, lose out in the end living inside your mind won’t suffice or change the end. Tell myself and tell you.
My words fade in the southwestern wind turning southerly
while we dismiss lists
Stuck in an abyss, lost in time, fade in the dreamer
Stare at your demeanor, lost and found, I stand my ground while Jill comes tumbling after and Jack can’t find his crown
Search through the valley of death
Surmise the crease in your pants
Cry another dance, dry tears in my eyes.
My vision blurred by raindrops falling. 
Remember to see the sea widens
fear to die in the midst of a dream becomes real
You will heal from the power of words I implore