At night, my life’s energy
burns through my skin. I try to sleep but fitfully wake up, kicking the covers off
until the moisture dries, and cools me with tranquility. I toss nightly
sleeplessly awakened by the pitter-patter of relentless rain dripping steadily
on my A.C. The weather of my insight has changed. The days grow shorter, sun
up to sun down, yet feel longer. The storms won’t abate. Although the wind is
gone a steady rain remains like a leak in my heart. I’m bleeding out and
can’t say when. Only it’s not blood, it’s the leaking of love and spinal
fluids. I can’t hold them back. I know it’s going to rain again today.
I look out my window. In
spite of the quiet, the rain falls like a silent cellophane sheet blanketing my
world. Consumed by tireless passion I consider my options. As though hearing my
thoughts, a breeze awakens outside my window whispering to me about the loss of
his mother, Rainbow Warrior. I console and entreat him, “try again once
more.” He foreswears off the grain alcohol. Thunder and moonshine light
up the sky.
Growing more isolated,
observing puppets in the grander scheme of events, aspiring, trying, and
expiring.
Out of sight out of mind.
He said, “You have bedroom
eyes.”
I asked, “What does that
mean?”
“They’re very sexy,” he
said haltingly.
“How lame!” I exclaim, “at
least you could comment on the color or say something about how the blue-green
color is unusual.”
Wind whispers words only I
can hear so I listen to see if I fear the answer. My thoughts and the
wind have moved on. I hear a car barking down the street. The sound of the city
whistles and my ears ring.
The days pass in a swirl of
appointments looking out at views through strange windows.
Stringing along, smiling
and singing a song;
A pawn trying to escape
with no superpowers or magic cape.
The moons gone astray and
my mind's lost all day.
No one’s home minding the
store.
I stay to finish, day after
day, between four walls, closed in yet so far away.
