A CHANGE IS GONNA COME SOMEDAY

Smell The Coffee

Something’s brewing out there

Not just brewing in my head

It’s not imagined, it’s real, I feel it

Feel it in the way the sun hides behind clouds

Feel it in the volatile change of weather

something’s brewing out here

Time goes by, eventually all life will be dead

Our sun’s holding on by a thread

Nothing will take its stead

Sun doesn’t come out for days

Destruction of our universe

Sun pokes through a moment or two

Clouds cover sun most days

can’t locate sun’s rays or recall sun’s warmth

Rare that sun shines through clouds

See sun less and less I wonder

Is it the ozone layer, fracking, animal waste run-off,

or the GMO’s combined with Roundup and Monsanto

Don’t know if the sun will shine once more in all her glory

Will she ever be like she used to be once more?

End of times, and I wonder when we’ll lose the grid

Chem trails surround us with the lies we’re fed

Electric grids fail, flooding, hurricanes and tsunami’s all around

Clear established patterns following blindly, eyes wide open yet blind

to seeing how quickly earth’s changing storms,  it all from A to Z

A new dawn brewing, a new storm brewing,

Day by day we passively follow like domesticated goats in the herd

with little bo-peep you don’t hear a peep

we get trampled underfoot wild herds of bucks passing by

crows squawking trying to read sense while humans

go about their business of leading the herd of humans

so unbearable they’ve conquered the earth that birthed us forth

The abuse starts up high and is the only trickled down thing

among us humans as we abuse our own kind

follow the same strategy all the way down the line

Something’s brewing out there

I smell change coming
A change is gonna come someday

Random Energy

At night, my life’s energy burns through my skin. I try to sleep but fitfully wake up, kicking the covers off until the moisture dries, and cools me with tranquility. I toss nightly sleeplessly awakened by the pitter-patter of relentless rain dripping steadily on my A.C. The weather of my insight has changed. The days grow shorter, sun up to sun down, yet feel longer. The storms won’t abate. Although the wind is gone a steady rain remains like a leak in my heart. I’m bleeding out and can’t say when. Only it’s not blood, it’s the leaking of love and spinal fluids. I can’t hold them back. I know it’s going to rain again today.

I look out my window. In spite of the quiet, the rain falls like a silent cellophane sheet blanketing my world. Consumed by tireless passion I consider my options. As though hearing my thoughts, a breeze awakens outside my window whispering to me about the loss of his mother, Rainbow Warrior. I console and entreat him, “try again once more.”  He foreswears off the grain alcohol. Thunder and moonshine light up the sky.

Growing more isolated, observing puppets in the grander scheme of events, aspiring, trying, and expiring.

Out of sight out of mind.

He said, “You have bedroom eyes.”

I asked, “What does that mean?”

“They’re very sexy,” he said haltingly.

“How lame!” I exclaim, “at least you could comment on the color or say something about how the blue-green color is unusual.”

Wind whispers words only I can hear so I listen to see if I fear the answer.  My thoughts and the wind have moved on. I hear a car barking down the street. The sound of the city whistles and my ears ring.

The days pass in a swirl of appointments looking out at views through strange windows.

Stringing along, smiling and singing a song;

A pawn trying to escape with no superpowers or magic cape.

The moons gone astray and my mind's lost all day.

No one’s home minding the store.

I stay to finish, day after day, between four walls, closed in yet so far away.

I will overcome some day

I sing misty blue for you today

Misty blue just for you today Daddy

Sing misty for you every day

Waiting to hear you say

You’re coming on home today

My life’s on hold – my mind strays

I see you in my mind’s eye drinking that Bombay Gin

Sitting alone in a Starbuck’s café

Knowing life plays me like a Violin

But I can’t stop myself from hoping there could be a better way

Please tell me you’ll always love me Daddy

The way you know that I love you

So please come on home to stay

My soul has turned misty like the weather before the storm

While it keeps playing the same old song

Play it in reverse today and tomorrow

Let me coerce you to come on home

Let your worries disperse

Things can’t get much worse

So come on home baby

We’re going to jam the night away and 

play new music all day today Daddy

until the moon wanes in the sky and 

the sun shines again today

Someday I will overcome all obstacles put in my way

Misunderstandings

Nurtured with contempt instead of acceptance I came to understand that contempt was what I deserved. A world filled with maladjusted tendencies, constrained to a room, one of many to come. Three beds stood in our one bedroom with two side-by-side windows with deep sills that faced a wide open schoolyard that ran the entire width of our square city block.

Six of us lived in a one bedroom walk up gratefully situated on the first floor of a five story red brick building. There were two graceful entrances to the left and right of the main courtyard surrounded by well tended shrubbery. 

In our one bedroom there was a double bed plus two singles side by side against the wall, facing outwards so that all of our feet directly faced each other. The two single beds pushed together were mine and the middle sister's. The double bed on the opposite side facing ours was occupied by my eldest sister, Georgette, and my mother. 

My bed was closest the window and Harriet's bed was pushed alongside mine, the heads pushed against the wall. There was only a few feet of space left to walk between the four beds. I spent a lot of time in bed. That was where I did my homework, read for hours and dreamed away the hours.

My favorite part of weekends and mostly all I looked forward to was the ability to stay late in bed gazing at the sky. If my sisters came in or my mother I would climb on the window sill behind the curtain where they could not watch me and I could imagine I was alone with my dreams of clouds constructing lives of gods and goddesses while I instructed them on how to play nice with one another to have a good time.

I never did fit it with anybody, especially in first through third grades. Children made fun of me. A girl name Ruth told me she and her friend were going to get dressed up and have a lollipop party and everyone was invited. Did I want to go? I looked in Ruth’s face feeling suspicious of their niceness I felt trapped but didn’t know why. I nodded yes. “Sucker,” they yelled gleefully laughing hysterically, whilst staring into each others eyes, they danced away arm in arm. I stared after them.