Friday, April 05, 2013

Stand in line to criticize me

So-called friends gather together to conspire to criticize me. They review and share the litany of my misdeeds, judge my improprieties. Criticized from all sides. Some call me fickle because of how I live my life. If you’re seeking someone to criticize don’t let me stand in your way. Just stand in line I’m about to sell tickets.

One friend knows how to act to fool anyone and she believes her own lies. I remember she fooled two therapists proving two was as easy as one to deceive. She told me one was for her heart, the other one for her mind. She can no longer see what is deception or illusion. She is like me, lives in her private world of delusion. A flimsy sense of right and wrong betrays me; I see the world through a film of gauze and baubles - always let down.

Criticizing is a waste of time and so easy. Eventually I get tired of your unkind ways and tell you alcoholism is a mental illness. I resolve not to continue to be unkind so I apologize.

Everyone else is more sensible, They know how to avoid trouble and when I say that is what I’m doing - the same as they have done, I’m called insane and crazy though I’ve been called worse. I say the unsaid things no one else says.

I tell Buck Henry, “I’d rather be faithful but when I get unhappy I also get unfaithful.” He laughs and agrees life is like that. I’d rather not throw stones but when so many stones hit you how many do you take before you throw some back. Imagine! A plagiarizer and a drunken fool with nothing to show stand in line to criticize me. Kill yourself slowly, you have someone waiting below you.

You give yourselves leave to play gods to my queen. You’re both so perfect you have the right to judge me so stand in line to criticize me.

You know you’re better than me if we don’t count your predilection for alcohol and prostitutes bragging how much you hate condoms. I don’t need weapons for my two main accusers. She had him write all her papers so she could go to college to become a nurse. She explained to us how God put him there to write them for her. I pray she’ll never nurse anyone I know. Oops my bad, I agree you’re both better than me. Stand in line to criticize me. Friends don’t criticize = for stupid stuff. I resign myself to stay positive and move towards the light so everything will be all right.

I’m selling tickets now so stand in line to criticize me.

Julio says,  “Everyone kicks a falling star. It’s in your planets to be a humanitarian. You have no luck sister because you were a fallen in a past life. Take yourself away from negativity. Don’t think about negative people and only be with those who are positive. Do this sister and stay positive and move towards the light and everything will be all right.”

I’m moving on to a new hemisphere. Bygones are bygones even woebegone. I’d accept an apology but I understand it’s more important to be right. New beginnings are out of sight!

I make a new year’s resolution to make more friends… and to make amends.