Friday, January 16, 2009

my first try at tanka

I went on the internet to read about tankas and then tried my hand at it. Tell me tanka readers, does this make it?

Trees Love Me Tanka

I'm warm in here
Out there it's
20 degrees
the trees
are confused

They ask me
If they should
bud or go bare
they're aware
yesterday

Was 50 degrees
Today it’s snowing
My heart is
Virulent
Like the weather

REWRITTEN  

I'm warm in here 
Out there it's 20 degrees
the trees are confused

They ask me
if they should bud or go bare
They're aware yesterday 

Was 50 degrees
Today I'm clueless
My heart is virulent 
Like the weather