Trees Love Me Tanka
I'm warm in here
Out there it's
20 degrees
the trees
are confused
They ask me
If they should
bud or go bare
they're aware
yesterday
Was 50 degrees
Today it’s snowing
My heart is
Virulent
Like the weather
REWRITTEN
I'm warm in here
Out there it's 20 degrees
the trees are confused
They ask me
if they should bud or go bare
They're aware yesterday
Was 50 degrees
Today I'm clueless
My heart is virulent
Like the weather
:) This is a Tanka poem .I liked it .There are different ways to express one's emotions and I feel Haiku and Tanka are one of the best .short crisp and poignant .thanks for sharing
ReplyDeletehttp://tikulicious.wordpress.com/2008/11/22/tanka-short-song/
read these and do read the other forms also on my blog .lv
Very interesting. Tankas and haikus are so sparse in words and so heavy with feeling - it makes them very powerful. I liked it
ReplyDeleteIt was good to read... I don't really know much about Tanka :) but it was interesting.
ReplyDeleteJoy, enjoyed this one. I'm very new to Tanka and have been trying some for the first time too. I like the animate-inaimate relationsship here -- trees and the narrator...absolutely intense... or are trees animate too!! But this poem is a very engaging one. Now I must get inspired and write some myself.:-)
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed. The trees outside are metaphored into beng yu-know lost girls, IMO.
ReplyDeletethe trees
are confused
They ask me
If they should
bud or go bare
Never heard of Tanka before, but I'm intrigued. Loved this, particularly the feeling it gave me of "if even the trees are confused, is it any wonder I am?"
ReplyDeleteI don't now what a tanka poem is but I do like this one a lot, Joy.
ReplyDeleteDid you answer the trees?
ah just thought to change the line, to I'm clueless
ReplyDelete