Sunday, December 16, 2012

Peace be upon you

I think of what could be if my sisters, me,
And my brothers were really tight
All the hate dissipated to make the world right
Choose to see with different sight
Please beg for peace, no more fights
Emit brain signals
Send the waves out of mind
Soon will be out of time
Like legions of artists behind
My voice treads on their graves
Pays tribute to wishes for peace
Vibration moves inside lives changed a joint trance
Formulations for peace, throw out illusion
Breathe, eat and sing peace
moves through my hair in my eyes
Feast on peace
Visions move no skin tones, colors
no place alone
peace oceans and sand
breathe peace explore peace
Barish, Béke, Damai, Friður, La Paz, Iri'ni, Laule‘a,
Nanna Ayya, Pingan,
Pokój, Rahu, Shalom, Salaam Alaikum,
Shîte, Wolakota, Udo, Assalmu Alaikum,
Emit the pulse, Om shanti
Om Mani Padme Hum
Peace be upon you
Peace radiating out into the universe


*Peace in several languages:

Barish, Turkish
Béke, Hungarian
Damai, Indonesian
Friður, Icelandic
Iri'ni, Greek
La Paz, Spanish
Nanna Ayya Chickasaw
Laule‘a  Hawaiian -Peaceful, happy
Pingan, Chinese
Pokój , Polish, Slovak
Rahu, Estonian
Shîte, Tibetan
Udo, Igbo
Wolakota, Lakhota

Monday, December 10, 2012

Life is a story waiting to be told

At night, my life’s energy burns through my skin. I try to sleep but keep waking up, kicking off the covers until the moisture dries and cools me with tranquility.
Growing more isolated, observing puppets in the grander scheme of events; aspiring, trying and expiring.

Out of sight out of mind.

He told me I had bedroom eyes. 
I said, “What does that mean?”
“They’re very sexy,” he said haltingly.
“How lame!” I exclaim, “at least you could comment on the color or say something about how the blue green color is unusual.”

The days pass in a whirl of appointments looking through strange windows.
Stringing along, smiling and singing a song; a pawn trying to escape with no superpowers or magic cape.
The moons gone astray and my minds lost all day. No one’s home minding the store. I stay to finish day after day between four walls closed in yet so far away.

Tuesday, December 04, 2012


I live in a dream world reality a strange illusion I discover and uncover the truth. I rarely subscribe to common faith. The truth is harder to see than a diamond. I take the diamond to the jeweler who says, “This diamond has occlusions which are usually a sign the diamond is real – occlusions can only be seen by microscope. This color is tinted blue, unusual in a diamond this size with so many occlusions. I suggest we send it out to get tested – it just looks too perfect to be true."

In hope and vain I wait to hear the diamond is real but am told it's a well made fake, just like my reality while I keep performing in good faith and do the unintended not seeing things only exist in my head. Strangely, they remain a clear distant past in my memory – and this memory lasts in my head by circumstances beyond my control. As my dreams unfold and take hold I discover reality is not what I thought it was. History repeats it self again and again and still IT IS NOT enough. Learning the truth is never enough if you refuse to change the course of your life. I sit and struggle with concepts as life unfolds my untold dream takes hold. I struggle to stay tight remain true to the light and the cause. There’s another global warming rooting in my head causing a major tidal wave and reality storms keep smacking me in the face as I try to keep the story straight. Chin up and keep forth in the wind.

This country is no longer what it set out to be fair and equal are only concepts applied to certain certified events by a moneyed society with privatized armed forces. Our country is not what it set out to be controlled by mercenaries.

I am not free will not be set free, am a product of society calmed by money no longer there I fare better than those worse off than me.

When Roosevelt was president we didn’t suffer from so much damn debt that has trickled down to a global economy still based on supporting wars to ignite a burgeoning economy and can’t keep up with the rapidly reproducing human rate.

Get a certificate to reproduce or join our dying planet. I am looking for peace to replace the water and divide it up fairly for all. WE NEED TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR SO MANY RAPIDLY DECLINING SPECIES BEGINNING WITH THE CORAL IN THE OCEAN, WE NEED TO PROTECT REEFS.

Is it any wonder I can’t see beyond the bridge of my nose and my glasses are always in a fog so I never see clearly. I see what I want to see – it’s been proven again and again.

I can see clearly now, the gates to heaven are here on earth.

My brethren, think and breathe peace.  Join the vision of great artists and leaders everywhere to create a common place within our hearts where peace and the greater good take priority.

Peace seeps from our pores to infect humanity and will spread to distant corners of the globe. Everyone partakes peace.

I can see clearly now. A common chore, a call to live our lives like a prayer to peace- to inspire peace to grow with our words and thoughts to join human race raise the bar.


Wednesday, November 28, 2012


I am not an addict; I can stop anytime I want to
Yes I can, I can stop anytime I want to
I just haven’t felt the need to stop
What ‘s so important for me to do now that I finally free 5 minutes from my curfew
Momentarily abandon myself to my dreams
Give myself permission to leave myself behind left out of it again
Yeah, really, I can stop anytime I want to
You ask why I don’t stop if I say I can
Oh O.K., I confess, I did do it again but I didn’t mean to
I know I said I wouldn’t do it again; I tried not to do it, but couldn’t stop myself
the urge overwhelmed me
I was powerless, I did it again
I’m sorry I want you to
Share your secrets too
You’re not perfect
No more throwing stones at me
Com’on, confess your sins
The sins everyone else said you shouldn’t do,
To you it felt right the moment you tried it on for size
I remember your hands got dirty too one time,
you can’t wash away the sins
I saw you pee, you walked away didn’t wash your hands
Stood observing me.
My defense is my skin is so dry the skin turned ash,
Undernourished white skin flaking off my hands
Skin Slowly Peeling To Shreds,
before It’s time the skin is dead, skin slowly peeling away
Ready or not, here I come.
Red light green light, one two three
Is that how many chances I get to absorb the flow of the ideas
urges march day and night, the weight burdens me, early dawn
urges obsess me, possess me, I ignore them a day or two then they take me by force
I declare a truce.
Urges have a hold on me won’t let go of me
Separate men from woman, because we know once urges take hold, overwhelms
Together they can’t control overt urges so they cover up
Pretend there’s no drive
Woman’s hair her one true natural beauty
A set up from the start I pull another stinky fart just thinking about it
Force myself to think peace so the word war will fall into disuse
We will all refuse to fight
No more abuse by governments everywhere will have peace-oriented leaders
I dream of peace, a word war floats by a banana submarine looking for oil
Knowledge and power
Peace everlasting.
Meditate the days away instead of lustily fucking following my instincts, my addiction.
It’s easier do what presents than battle in a hot windy desert where you can’t see the only water is an illusion.
Addictions plague me.
It takes only one person’s fart to stink up the whole room how to clean out the smell if there’s no access to air
 the hole in the room follow the white rabbit and give in
Doctor diagnoses post-traumatic stress syndrome
Another rant a poetic chant a prayer to set the universe to rhythm  
Another beat
I give in give in give in give in give in give in give in

Monday, October 08, 2012

In Mourning ...

Felix died, the son of my father and my ex-husband. No one told us. No one called. We don't know where his body is buried.

Saturday I performed at the Morris Jumel Mansion with Dubblex and Demetrius Daniels. My son called me. An old friend called him to report his father had died. I spent the rest of the day in prayer and solitude, some of it with my son. We lit a candle and spoke about him, recounting memories. My son told me how when he was about 6 years old, his father visited him at my father's apartment. I was in school. My dad was in the kitchen and he noticed things had gotten very quiet so he went to see why. Joey was taking apart the TV and removing things while Felix sat laughing and smiling. That would be him.

Joey was good at that. I remember once when he was about 9 or 10 months old I had a shoelace that I used for my keys. I quadrupled the string, put my keys in the loop and tied a double knot at the end. It was tight too. I had no clue how he did it but I had been in the kitchen making dinner and when I came out Joey had the string and was retying it the same way it had been with the keys. I kept the string and still have it in my drawer till this day. I couldn't bear to throw it out.

We talked about Felix's craziness and retold old stories about him sitting at my kitchen table watching the candle slowly burn down. Strange that he died directly after Yom Kipper ended. Over the last year I often thought I'd see him soon. I'd been thinking about it for the past year a lot. It's not easy to find him though. Felix owns land in several places and he travels around the island visiting different people. Felix has no house either. Last time we went to see him, we had to call several people in his family before he heard we were there and  came to us. It took 2 days to make contact. After we found him we drove for 2 hours and left the rental when the road ended. Then we got out and hiked for over 2 1/2 hours. We finally made it to a little one room wooden shack nestled in the woods. It was small and basically one room. There was a table and 2 chairs and wooden shelves. It was very neat and clean. I could see a bed in the back with a dresser. That's all there was. Felix said he had a few places like this. I wrote a poem back in 97 about this visit after we returned home.

link to the poem:

Now the opportunity to ever see him again has passed for my son and I. I had hoped to see him before I die. I have to accept I'll never see him again in life. I miss him knowing he's no longer on the planet.

Joey less than 24 hours old.

Above in Santo Domingo City sitting in a park.
Felix's beautiful Mom, Carmen.

 Felix's mom's house. Eduardo, his mom, Dad and Sister Dolores with me.
 Beautiful house.
Nena's farm
Felix was handsome ...
Beautiful hair ... beautiful body
Felix, like me, loved cats too. We took this cat to Santo Domingo with us on a visit. Felix wanted me to see his aunt's farm so we left Frisky with his mom. When we returned to his mom's house she greeted us crying. She told us a jealous neighbor fed Frisky poisoned meat.

 These photos were taken in a rented house in Hackensack, Minnesota, where Joey was born. The photo above he is one month old. The one below he is 3 months old and already standing. Look at his proud father!

On his aunt Nena's farm. That's me, always finding stray animals.