I’ve Got Too Much To Do To Constantly Look Out For U

 I’ve Got Too Much To Do To Constantly Look Out For U

 

The ACLU needs to look out for U

I can’t do it all, there’s too much on my plate

Events redefine themselves

Replay inside my head

I want to re-possess my thoughts

while I obsess about U & 

U wait for me to go out so U can watch porno

 

Ur best friend at work wrote U up for killing a mouse

For challenging a student who dissed U

In my eyes, she set herself apart

As another Dubble X hoe

The last straw to get U off-track

Ur best friend stabbed U in the back

Her pursuit of a married chocolate-skinned supervisor

Forced her to write a report against U

 

Lil’ C kept a proprietary view towards U

A subterfuge of friendship when really 

All U shared were Ur sexual obsessions 

She bragged during our 1^st phone conversation that U gave her money 

And that she did that to make Ur ex jealous

Lil’ C made it clear to me she could have U if she wanted to

Confident U were all up in her shit

I wanted to ask her Y’d she'd take Ur money if she’s Ur friend

but stayed quiet at Ur unspoken request

U said U had to have one friend @ work

 

She texted U at 5:30 am, weekend 

After weekends – while I shared Ur bed

“R U awake,” she texts eager to share 

The lurid details of her most recent sexual conquest 

Confides in Mr. Porno-head about her nights of drunken’ love & lust

how she awoke on the bathroom floor in her own vomit

After her pussy was sucked & fucked 

 

Texts U B-4 she falls asleep 

R U awake, I kicked them out

Kicks out the dicks who fucked her pussy on the bathroom floor

U know what’s in store

Except for Pernet, her Indian lover 

Who is the only one who does what he wants to do with her

And when he’s through fucking her he kicks himself out immediately

 

Mr. Porno-head is so enticed 

Tells U how Ur ex-girlfriend's large breasts excite her 

U took vicarious pleasure in her marvelous sexual descriptions

She outlines in detail the various sexual positions 

Pernet roughly shoves her into 

Tells you she really digs the roughness you see 

all the other men R in such awe

they can’t excite her sexually

 

Mr. Porno head Ur so enticed

 

U said her motives were platonic 

She never lusted after U

never wanted to fuck U - never wanted to be Ur lover

U tell me there’s something repulsive, 

dark & ugly beneath her exotic beauty –  

Said last time U saw her she draped a silk scarf around Ur neck

Pulling Ur face closer

And when you pulled away and said you had to leave

She said, “let’s take it from the top.”

U pretended nothing was said

Refused to dip Ur sweet dick into her wet hole

 

I was there beside U in bed the morning she 

Called at 6 am after Pernet had left

She saw him on her subway ride with a pure-blooded Indian beauty 

Told U she intended to go back to him

U warned her against this

Told her U were disturbed & worried 

She’s got so many men

Chillin & waiting to get laid every day at her place

“Yes,” I responded, “I know, U became part of her entourage.”

U laughed, agreed it happened for a minute 

“She’s so promiscuous,” U say, U “worry for her safety”

I say “U can’t take care of her 24 – 7, U can’t take care of Urself.”

U continue telling me the story

“She says I use my son as an excuse not to chill with her on the weekend

She told me the elevator man at work threatened to rape her

The maintenance man too,” U worry

 

U were homesick when she called @ 10:00 pm to have a 25-minute phone conversation 

about some Mexican on the train who jerked off to her as she walked by

Mr. Machismo, Ur other alter ego, vowed to protect her 

The same way U vowed to protect me

U’d said U’d kill anyone who came near us

 

Mr. Porno-head Ur so enticed 

Her stories R so interesting 

So innocent U didn’t see what was crystal clear to me

Until she stabbed U in the back

U said U never saw the knife coming

Mr. Porno-head is in despair 

he’s taken flight for a minute 

 

Did she become jealous when U became my Romeo alone 

Was it then she became Ur Mercutio instead

U said U never saw the knife coming

Despite Ur many requests that she visit during Ur illness

U kept telling her she should meet me

& she agreed but never came once; I was here

 

My energy is my essence it’s alive strong - powerful

U feel me burning & I burn U in return

Ouch feel me, U’ve felt the power within

Who else could or would take care of U like that?

 

I’m the real thing not the fake conqueror of men

Mr. Porno – head is insensate, blind

I memorize Ur face with my eyes

Because it changes instant to instant

I have to recall the many U’s existent 

Ur beauty overtakes me

 

She saw U’d become addicted to me

Already knew I’m addicted to U

U became addicted to my charms

As U stayed within my arms

I’ve become Ur drug of choice

 

 

LIKE AN ISLAND

         

       LIKE AN ISLAND 

 

I’m quarantined 

Learning to love my aloneness 

Not concerning ceremonious womanliness, 

Maintain a harmonious

Fighting to survive intolerance, tight feistiness of ruin, 

from wealthy brothers and sisters. 

The poor give more than wealthy do

usually more generous of spirit 

poor pay higher taxes

Trumped by a white house orange debacle 

Citizens dying from streptococcal

symptoms - live in mass pandemonium 

people blind like they’re on opium

sanctimonious created fraudulent-ness

intolerantness speaks loudly, devoutly, profoundly evil

worldly unrest and upheaval 

quarantine inside my abode 

carry a heavy load

my body bowed

inability to unload

keep a heavy workload

dreading the next episode

of color code, religious code, computer codes

hate showed – 

snowed in about to implode

lifestyles eroding with each new foreboding 

will we ever overcome

see what we can become

if to love and tolerance we succumb

Solve Problem:  make humanity less dumb

Embrace love and tolerance 

Together, overcome 

Stop being overrun

beat my drum till that day comes

pray to raise awareness that love is everywhere

Love is everywhere

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A WALL OF POWER

The Western Wall, also called the Kotel is the last remains of the Second Temple of Jerusalem, which formed part of the enclosure of Herod’s temple, resulted in the encasement of a natural steep hill, that became the Temple Mount. The Kotel is holy due to its connection to the Temple Mount and is holy to Muslims, Jews, and Christians. This holy place was destroyed by the Romans in 70 CE. The remaining wall is all that is left from the Temple Mount. 

A WALL OF POWER

Can a wall really wail or is that a fail-safe fallacy to inspire the fire inside

Does a wailing wall speak to inadequacy inside?

Can a wall 2000 years old wail sufficiently to quell my pain?

Can a wall help me see the heartbreak between Abel and Caine?

Can this 2000-year-old Western wall help our world find peace?

Help nuclear energy threats cease

Pray for wars to decrease

Help humanity stay safe without regrets

Pray no one forgets the past

The result of making outcasts leads to a lambaste

Will this wall provide a safe space to do more than cry about what’s left?

I try to shrug free of my chains 

There’s no escaping the Western Wall’s remains

Power soars through my veins, the wall opens my reality

Feels like labor pains, I feel my soul strain to let go restraints

An African lady, dressed in high fashion speaks in tongues I can’t understand. 

She pounds her chest, pounds the wall with a closed fist, and screams “Jesus” 

The rest of the words are forecast

African Lady’s fist pounds her words into the wall’s veins

A religious Orthodox Jew rolls her eyes momentarily aghast 

Then returns to her private prayers

I try to imagine African Lady’s sorrows as the wall absorbs them

Overcome with waves of feeling, I struggle to see through my tears, fears appear,

I return my gaze to a wall I don’t know but somehow feel like I’ve been here before, 

Wailing inside, feel all aglow, wait for my soul to be lit by peace

I place my shred of paper with my prayers for our world to heal

The wailing western wall, a holy grail

My hand held steady against a small sweet spot of stone, mine momentarily,

Press my hand against ancient limestone

Can’t control the flow of my tears 

Hard to reach through all the bodies to press my hand through 

Other women clamor to touch the wall

Maybe think the wall will heal the

People from many lands and many religions, 

Lay our hands on together, on this sacred stone wall

All hope for love, relief, a better life, for everyone

The wall crowded with thousands of us praying together, 

People from many lands and many religions all here like one

Lay our hands on this sacred stonewall, ancient limestone 

Pray for family, pray for peace, 

Pray for a better world 

Pray humanity will survive, whatever befalls us

Pray for love, relief, a better life, for loved ones

For everyone, everywhere, humanity together, for once and for all…

WHAT’S GOING ON

Why blame me for all the pain

Credit me for all the gains you’ve had

For years and years

Credit me for fame

Who wants the blame for what you said I did

That I didn’t do

I know your name

It’s ok for you to jump in my game

  

Stop acting like we’re Cain and Abel

Or like we’re both rebels on opposite sides

In line for the same resources

I’m your friend not your enemy

Don’t confuse me,

I won’t excuse you

Don’t play this game today

My name is your name

Let’s put us in a frame

It sounds a little lame

But it’s true not contrite

We’re staying tight

Don’t give up the fight

I’m trying to keep you alive

Finally saw the light

Left behind the blight

Left me in such a fright

Really not trite

I assure you

The value of my life depends on fame, on my name, my game and gain

Spread the word

Don’t blame me for the pain

For not seeing the way you claim

To see I can’t pretend to be or see what I don’t see

I’d like to play that game sometimes, would make life a little easier and I admit I took that turn several times – went down that path knowing the truth had left me there, alone and bereft

So I try again and again

Help, help me please

Spit Poetic Love and Life’s Shit Splits

Spit Poetic Love and Life’s Shit Splits

Be the love you want to give

Give love to live life

Let love dissipate strife

Let love give and get love

Love who you’re with

If you can’t be with whom you love

Give it all you’ve got

A pep talk on love

Be who you want to love

Wish you’d stop shoving me away

A voice from above

My true love

Live the love you want to give

Be the love you want to get

See love I give

Give love I get

Be the love I see

Give the love I want to be

Can’t control thoughts and feelings that come through me

Can control what I do about them

Can’t be who you expect me to be

Can only be who I am

I am talking to the picture framer, Igball when artist lady interrupts my flow.

Artist lady says to me, “Hey wait, you’re speaking about the artist guy, the one with the scars across his face.”

Oh my, I say to myself in my head.

Aloud I reply, “He’d be so angry to have you define him that way, ‘by scars that line his face.’”

“How’d you meet?” asked Igball.

“I went to meet him to watch him paint. Guards chased him away from the sidewalk where he painted. I wanted him to paint where he wanted to, and he asked me to speak to the guards. So I spoke to them to protect his rights.”

“Another guard came to talk to me, not the one who’d chased Enrico away. He said, ‘I saw you earlier painting on the street when I came to work. I recognized you by your scars.’

“Enrico went off. ‘You recognized me by my scars. How are my scars relevant to this situation? Now I know you’re violating my human rights.’ I didn’t see his scars. I looked into his eyes. His eyes looking back into mine mesmerized me. It wasn’t until the guard pointed them out that I saw his scars.”

“Oh I do hope you won’t tell him what I said,” artist lady said, “I just wanted to identify him. He’s very beautiful.” She said, “Gorgeous, don’t get me wrong. Then I went home and cried all night.”

I listened to her, looked in her eyes and died a little more inside.

“You’d cry more if you were me,” I said.  “He has a mean streak. He told me, ‘Blame my parents who abused me.’ I want to report his father and mother for abuse but every state has different laws, and in Los Angeles, it’s too late to report. They got away with it. I hang out with him and he gets angry very easy, every little thing sets him off, becomes an offense. If he heard you now he’d get very angry like he did when the guard said he recognized him by his scars.”

“Well, please don’t tell him,” she pleaded.

I wrote it all here instead.

Igball stared in my eyes and saw me, ‘the me’ who I feel I am.

Dream Love

Felix stares deep into my eyes
leans towards me,
it's a dream
I stare back into

Sweet almond eyes

Presses his lips to mine

Kisses my lips gently,

Lips slightly apart

Total eclipse of my art,

My too-kind heart

I was never smart in love

And attraction, men are an alien faction

My private eye –shy daddy mack,

Always take him back

The second kiss, a photo in my mind's eye

I feel that kiss now

See his face as though were today,

Eyes lock in embrace

He bends his head toward me

I raise my head, anticipate

Lost in one another’s gaze

Says his one little phrase

Like a photo, stays glued in my memory

One kiss so sweet; cherished reveries

My Daddy likes no man who wants me

And even he sang Felix’s praises

“He really loves you,” he says

Stamped, signed and delivered

His face and eyes moving towards mine

Gently press his lips to mine,

See it as if it was two clear photos,

Shown in two different angles

A photo I see with closed eyes

Even if I were to be blind

It will remain clear in my mind

A sensory delight, exemplary levity

A memory that never lived

So can’t survive

A dream delight withstands time

Forever I see the photo in my mind