Monday, July 08, 2013

Call Me The Bedbug Warrior

I won’t let them succeed
I’ll get them before they get me, you’ll see.
Bell Environmental said they’re all dead
I wonder if it’s true
Feel them crawling around in my hair
They say they’re all dead
But they’re still there in my head

Can’t get a grip
I hire Pestrol instead.
Their dog also confirms, there’s no more bed bugs alive
Perhaps an egg survives beneath the rug
I’m loath to tear up
Movie-theatre style carpet
Wall to wall, an unusual pattern
Two-toned green vines crawl between five circles
Each circle containing a fleurs de lis
One in each corner, eighteen inches between the four
Nine inches to the center fleurs de lis
One in the center
Four fleurs de lis in each corner 
Repeated endlessly
Light and dark golds, rust orange leaves, dark vibrant green,
A Kelly and lime green vine floats between the circles

I sit here dreaming of surfing the Internet
with my new steamy bed partner
A hand held Haan steamer
I feel them; they scuttle across my neck, crawl behind my ears
The better to sting me inject me with their venom,
Creep through my hair, I dare not turn my head
I dare not fall asleep

My steamy new bed partner lies silent beside me waiting to be put to use.
The Internet said 98 percent of the human race 
has tiny hair mites we can’t see
I’m sure I feel them jumping up there in my hair somewhere
It’s very scary
“What should I do? Should I rip up the wall-to-wall rug?”
Joey says, “If it makes you feel better mom, it’s ok, throw out the rug.”
“What about the furniture? Should I throw that out too?”
“Only if it makes you feel better Mom. 
If it makes you feel safer, throw it out.”
“But you don’t think there’s any of them left?”
“No Mom, but that’s me. You had two dogs in here last week. 
You can’t hire a dog every single week to check for bedbugs.
“It’s ok Mom, throw out everything you want if it makes you feel better.” 
He pats me tenderly on the shoulder. Insane sanity. 
His crazy mother’s really gone off the deep end this time, 
gripping sanity tightly in her fist, then splat, she’s gone.

Diatomaceous earth sprinkled throughout the house
Sprinkled in drawer corners and around the edges
Use a business card to push the powder into the cracks,
Sprinkled between the rug and walls
Sprinkled where the old baseboard was torn up
Sprinkled beneath the bed
Sprinkled on top of the head board
Sprinkle soft white powder into a take out plastic container 
place each leg of the bedframe separately
into a container of its own diatomaceous earth
Sprinkled in a bag of shoes
Diatomaceous earth slices and dices 
dehydrates insects who steps through the soft white 
deceptive powder sprinkled liberally everywhere
Dreaming of new tiles and a clean pinkish swirl beige porcelain floor
I’m sure a porcelain floor will make me feel safe
Don’t rain on my bedbug parade