GOT THOSE HEEBIE JEEBIE BLUES FROM WAY DOWN YONDER IN NEW ORLEANS

I’ve got the all kinds of bugs blues,

Got rid of bed bugs

Then fleas got a hold of me

Got all kinds of bug blues

Either way I lose

Insects invade my house like

Squatters who refuse to pay rent

Invade my space from all angles

Fruit flies fly into my eyes & ears,

Fly around my computer screen

Fear drives me, makes me see

Bedbugs aren’t the only parasites  

More afraid of how we live

Our entire lives invaded consistently

Sign petitions on the Internet

Fear instills me with those bedbug blues for sure

Stinkbugs threaten to enter,

Cling to my 16^th floor window screen

Insects invade my heart & soul

Posttraumatic stress syndrome sets in

Obsessed by the insect kingdom

Imagined their numbers grew and grew

Because all the all kind of bug blues

Bemusing I clench my fist

Capture what first seems a Knat

Inspecting it in my palm and transfer to a bottle,

Can’t make heads or tails of it. Excuse the pun.

I visit the bug shop on the corner.

Give my sample to the shop’s proprietor

Ms. Young Lady declares she’s an expert,

In her eyes, definitely not bedbugs-

I breathe a sigh of relief

She affirms it’s a kind of mealy bug – whom eats food

I watch as stink bugs crawl through my window

Climb right in between the glass and screen

All the way up to the 16^th floor

I wonder how they do it

Why do they pick me?

These Stinkbugs fly, buzz around my head

Help me get rid of them

Please explain, where do 

All these bugs are come from?

Call Me The Bedbug Warrior

I won’t let them succeed

I’ll get them before they get me, you’ll see.

Bell Environmental said they’re all dead

I wonder if it’s true

Feel them crawling around in my hair

They say they’re all dead

But they’re still there in my head

Can’t get a grip

I hire Pestrol instead.

Their dog also confirms, there’s no more bed bugs alive

Perhaps an egg survives beneath the rug

I’m loath to tear up

Movie-theatre style carpet

Wall to wall, an unusual pattern

Two-toned green vines crawl between five circles

Each circle containing a fleurs de lis

One in each corner, eighteen inches between the four

Nine inches to the center fleurs de lis

One in the center

Four fleurs de lis in each corner 

Repeated endlessly

Light and dark golds, rust orange leaves, dark vibrant green,

A Kelly and lime green vine floats between the circles

I sit here dreaming of surfing the Internet

with my new steamy bed partner

A hand held Haan steamer

I feel them; they scuttle across my neck, crawl behind my ears

The better to sting me inject me with their venom,

Creep through my hair, I dare not turn my head

I dare not fall asleep

My steamy new bed partner lies silent beside me waiting to be put to use.

The Internet said 98 percent of the human race 
has tiny hair mites we can’t see

I’m sure I feel them jumping up there in my hair somewhere

It’s very scary

“What should I do? Should I rip up the wall-to-wall rug?”

Joey says, “If it makes you feel better mom, it’s ok, throw out the rug.”

“What about the furniture? Should I throw that out too?”

“Only if it makes you feel better Mom. 
If it makes you feel safer, throw it out.”

“But you don’t think there’s any of them left?”

“No Mom, but that’s me. You had two dogs in here last week. 
You can’t hire a dog every single week to check for bedbugs.

“It’s ok Mom, throw out everything you want if it makes you feel better.” 
He pats me tenderly on the shoulder. Insane sanity. 
His crazy mother’s really gone off the deep end this time, 
gripping sanity tightly in her fist, then splat, she’s gone.

Diatomaceous earth sprinkled throughout the house

Sprinkled in drawer corners and around the edges

Use a business card to push the powder into the cracks,

Sprinkled between the rug and walls

Sprinkled where the old baseboard was torn up

Sprinkled beneath the bed

Sprinkled on top of the head board

Sprinkle soft white powder into a take out plastic container 
place each leg of the bedframe separately
into a container of its own diatomaceous earth

Sprinkled in a bag of shoes

Diatomaceous earth slices and dices 
dehydrates insects who steps through the soft white 
deceptive powder sprinkled liberally everywhere

Dreaming of new tiles and a clean pinkish swirl beige porcelain floor

I’m sure a porcelain floor will make me feel safe

Don’t rain on my bedbug parade