America The Meager (sestina revised) For poets who don't believe in editing!!!

Alive burning with fire consumes me                                                               

Ready freedom burns me                                                                    

World full of disputes                                                                                     

House of ill repute                                                                                          

Esteem pollutes forbidden fruit                                                                       

Pursuit of dreams                                                                                            

American happiness is not pursuit of dreams                                                   

American dream a lie, fire consumes me                                                          

Covered clotted cream, forbidden fruit                                                                       

Deceit, the lie of the American dream burns me                                             

Life in the house of ill repute                                                                          

Americans drenched in disputes                                                                      

Freedom from consumerism                                                                            

Important to pursue the dream                                                                       

Caught up in ill repute                                                                                    

Desires feeds disputes                                                                                     

Dirty hands burn me                                                                                       

For sale, buy my forbidden fruit                                                                      

Can’t hide away forbidden fruit                                                          

Lust consumes me                                                                                          

Thirst so strong, it burns me                                                                           

Cravings coerced, reimbursed dreams                                                             

Yearnings lead to disputes                                                                               

Borne and bred of ill repute                                                                            

Iraq, Beirut, wars of ill repute                                                                         

Oil the biggest forbidden fruit                                                                        

Observing abuse consumes me                                                                        

Obliterating abuse causes disputes                                                                  

Inflicting suffering drowns dreams                                                                   

Blues burn me                                                                                                 

Trickle-down abuse burns me                                                                         

Weak forced to accept ill repute                                                                     

Eradicates man’s right to dream                                                                      

Access to achieve forbidden fruit                                                                     

Denials of basic rights consume me                                                               

Animal abuse and pollution, root of many disputes                                         

Equity and decency consume me, fear burns me                                             

Disputes, hurt heart, search escape from ill repute                                                      

Forbidden fruits multiply wealthy; cancel out poor man’s dreams       

***
Oftentimes as editor for the TCSR, people will send me poems to ask for thoughts or advice. When I honestly point out a misspelling or misuse of word, or give an example of what could improve the poem, i.e. changing a few words around, the biggest response I get is "I don't believe in editing my poems. The poem comes out the first time the way it should be." 

Well, here is the proof that it really helps to work on a poem, to edit errors, and to reconsider word usage. It makes a difference. 

As you can see, in the earlier version, inadvertently I used consume twice in two lines in one stanza which led to repetition, and since this form is essentially repetitious in its form, it works better to use a different word ending for each line of each stanza. 

Any thoughts fellow poets?