Searching For Sunshine

Ain’t no sun up in my sky today

Rain keeps falling on my head

Got the blues so bad I’m dancing with fire

in hellish nights with no end

Promises and dreams not in sight

No delight in life

a bout inside, an an endless fight

in a world where nothing’s right

No sun up in my sky, too down to cry

waiting on motivation that can't come

Dream daily

Lying awake waiting for my lover to come on home

Frustration growing

waiting on lover makes me quirky that way

Comes sneaking through the bedroom 

door in the dead of night

Bed bathed in moonlight

Soft red hair brushes my shoulder

Our promises of together forever have grown older

Each day colder

As she lies down beside me

My eyes closed, pretend I’m asleep

Awake to an empty bed

Gone, left

With words unsaid

Sadness never ends

Never thought we’d end that way

Rain taps on windowpane

Listen in solitary solace

Left me on a rainy day

Called later, said she had to go,

Had someone waiting on her

Someone easier to abide, 

Someone to turn the tides

Someone to resolve dissatisfaction

Permeating our relations

Someone older, more mature

Someone sensitive who knew

how to make love

Someone who understood

Standing in the rain, alone

Clothes drenched through to skin

Each day hope rain will go away

tears blending with rain

sun’s gone away

rains refuse to abate

Another Peace Poem

Foster peace in a universe of abuse

Choose peace over sorrows and regrets, let loose

Excuse my bluntness while I try to mend my foolish heart

I’m begging you please

A piece of the pie

The all American style

I want peace

peace in every nation

peace on every occasion

in every location personal to station wide

a vacation from substance abuse

peace in a universe based on contempt

give me some peas in a pod,

I’ll give you a nursery breeding on continuums

of overpopulation saturated with misinformation

I’ll give you a universe one score and five million years ago

a new universe was born of peace, responsibility, utility,

continuity of many species

Make peace or face destruction of varied species of life

including the human race

or be at peace, meditation replaces medication

the one becomes the all

the all becomes the one and there will be peace

Tired of the trickle down abuse ...

Mercy for animals please, 

no more abuse!

Imagine what people what say if there was no waste treatment plants for our waste? We'd be back with Typhoid Mary.

The poor animals are forced to stay in one spot, not allowed to walk, move or turn their bodies or ever see the sun and walk outdoors to graze grass while alive. Then when the workers are told to clean out the foot of feces and urine the animals (cows, pigs, chickens and all factory farm animals) are forced to stand in. All this shit and piss has turned to pure ammonia and the workers are so angry about the job they have to do that they usually beat the animals to make them move out of their way so the workers can do their jobs and shovel the shit out.

After all, these people have to do what they're told. They have families to support. Of course this ammonia smell is harmful to the worker's lungs as well as the animals. Then workers spray the fields with urine and feces they've shoveled out, creating poisoned ground runoff, which also contains antibiotic and hormones. The animals are force-fed antibiotics and hormones because otherwise they would not have growth spurts because their filthy living conditions prevents growth.

We end up with hormones and antibiotics in our bodies second hand or third hand, depending on whether or not we eat these animals. Then because of the runoff, the hormones and antibiotics is absorbed from the ground into our vegies or grown foods. Our nation is becoming more and more unhealthy to help make Tyson and other factory farms become more wealthy than they already are while we wear blinders and don't see what the world has become. The ground is poisoned so all our foods are too and even being vegetarian or vegan won't help unless you can afford to eat totally organic.

On the day piglits are born or several days later they take a rusty clippers and clip their balls off. They burn calves horns off without doing anything to numb the pain. Sometimes they saw them off and you can hear the animals howls of anguish and pain. Worker kick and beat them, stomp them, even jump on their backs, break their tails, often purposely, and they think the animals have no feelings. They are just meat.

Milk cows are forced to give birth to unwanted calves to provide milk and cheese. These cows are never allowed to graze and are forced to eat corn and grains that their bodies can't digest. The calves newly born, are bludgeoned to death with hammers which takes quite a while. They lie there, their hearts still beating, whining and screaming in pain while workers hammer their heads.

We need to get back to family farms and to get rid of these unhealthy practices.

“They undergo painful mutilations and are bred to grow unnaturally fast and large for the purpose of maximizing meat, egg, and milk production for the food industry. Their bodies cannot support this growth, which results in debilitating and painful conditions and deformities."

"Every year, 9 billion chickens are slaughtered for meat in the United States. Called “broilers” by the industry, these curious, social birds are treated simply as production units, selectively bred and fed for abnormally fast growth without consideration for their wellbeing. The resulting large size contributes significantly to suffering, disease, and early death." 

Above 2 paragraphs quoted from:
"http://www.farmsanctuary.org/learn/factory-farming/

Factory farms, also called industrial livestock operations or concentrated animal feeding operations (CAFOs), are large agricultural enterprises where animals are raised in confined settings. The Environmental Protection Agency explains that these facilities congregate animals on small tracts of land, sustaining them on purchased or grown feed rather than through grazing or pasture.

http://www.farmaid.org/site/c.qlI5IhNVJsE/b.2723715/k.852A/Factory_Farms.htm

In every other advanced nation in the world, they have reverted back to grazing cattle and pigs because they realize how unhealthy this is for the animal, the earth and us, because when we eat them we ingest 2nd hand antibiotics and hormones, which is why many of us are antibiotic resistant.

Please speak out for the animals. To do so go visit the following websites to sign petitions on many issues, including animal abuse.

http://www.mercyforanimals.org/

Care2.org

Forcechange.org

change.orghttp://www.mercyforanimals.ca/pigcruelty/

http://wildhorsepreservation.org/about

http://www.nrdc.org/living/

Criticism betrays me

I’m so bad that people gather together to conspire to criticize me. They review and share my misdeeds sitting in judgment of stupid things starting with how improper I am to scratch my head. I say out loud the unsaid things no one else would ever say.

Criticized on all sides. One sister calls me fickle because I dumped some stupid guy. But she sure dumped a lot more guys than me. In her next breath she said I was insane and proved myself a doormat to put up with his shit.

My miss fine manners –I always looked up to her, saw her as more beautiful than me and so smart. She knew how to behave. She could fool anyone into believing anything. She probably believed it all herself. She fooled two therapists at one time proving two was just as easy as one to deceive. She would see each and tell them different versions of the same events. She told me she needed one for her heart and the other for her mind. She discards garbage passing through our lives, hiding things from herself. She can no longer see what is deception, an illusion, sees all as her own private truths. Like me, she lives in a private world of delusion, a flimsy sense of right and wrong betray us, see the world through a film of gauze and baubles. I am let down by my perceptions.

Others are more sensible, think it through, avoid trouble. I try and do the same as I observe others have done, and am called insane and crazy though I’ve been called worse than that too.

I dream I’m talking to Buck Henry, “Buck,” I tell him, “I’d rather be faithful but when I get unhappy I also get unfaithful.” He laughs and agrees.  It’s like I told Buck Henry about being unfaithful. I’d rather not throw stones but how many do you take and turn away before you throw some back. Imagine! She is a plagiarizer and you a drunken fool who have nothing to show for all your years of work because of the alcohol. Killing yourself slowly, your brain no longer tells you where to go.

Criticizing you doesn’t make me feel better. I feel the worst for it. How unkind to put down a friend for a silly thing like scratching her head. That is crazy. I resolve not to continue to be unkind so I apologize for all my wrongs.

Who gave you leave to play god to my queen or think you’re so perfect you have the right to judge anyone.

He has a predilection for prostitutes along with his alcohol. He doesn’t use protection. I know about these things but don’t use it as a weapon. And my other accuser, his favorite girl, is a plagiarist. He wrote all her papers. She explained that God put him there to write them for her. She wouldn’t be a nurse if it weren’t for him. I pray she’ll never nurse anyone I know. Oops my bad, I agree you’re both better than me – so where does that get you? This is friendship for you? I have lost my way to call someone a friend who criticizes me for stupid stuff.

I’m selling tickets now so stand in line to criticize me.

Julio says,  “These people are not your friends. Leave them behind. Put yourself with positive people. You have no luck sister because you were a fallen in a past life. Everyone kicks a falling star. It’s in your planets to be a humanitarian. Take yourself away from negativity. Don’t think about negative people and only be with those who are positive. Do this sister and stay positive and move towards the light and everything will be all right.”

I’m moving on to a new hemisphere. Bygones are bygones are even woebegone. I’d accept an apology but I understand it’s more important to be right. New beginnings are out’a sight! I make a new year’s resolution to make more friends… and to always make amends.


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Author's note*

*Originally I wrote this then changed it a great deal but today in looking at my various versions of this piece, I felt this one had merit too, so put it up. I get confused sometimes because I have so many versions of the same piece. The later version can be seen here:
Stand In Line To Criticize Me

Rainbow Fantasy

I live in an age where when I go to CVS and ask the sales person for Mercurochrome he has no idea what I’m talking about. Live in an age where most people under 25 have never heard of Marilyn Monroe. Some few saw the recent production of movies and T-shirts shown all over the fashion industry. I bought a Marilyn shirt at Macy’s. Probably people who grew up during her time saw the movies about Marilyn’s life.

They had to kill Marilyn. True she’d been passed down through the Kennedys and I recall how she sang, Happy Birthday Mr. President with that Eartha Kitt sexy breathy voice, a husky tinge promising more to come.

People don’t know who Janis and Jimi are either, don’t see why they should give a damn about them. It’s more about who you are today in light given years. You see what I mean. - O’lay!

Living in an age where stars are criminals and the more props you gain from your evil deeds the more famous you become.

No one cares about a starlit gaze, a maze of illustrious dreams; everyone thinks things so easy now-a-days. Com’on and get happy, throw all your cares away.

Get on a reality TV show to show your bad, show your stupid fat ass fad and that and 2 cents makes you famous.

Now-a-days they don’t make stars or Mercurochrome anymore. None of the real stuff can be found. A few stars pass by unnoticed and unnamed and no one can see what you see even when you explain it to them using a light show. No one knows anymore. We just imagine a new world we can make unable to see the waste of talents over years. No one knows anything anymore…

Used to be a time when people knew, a time when we knew what we could do and would join together to make things better.

All the fizz is out of the jizzmo.

No one’s going anyplace anymore. All out of that brand? I can’t understand why it hurts so much.

Know I’ve got to go where I can show I understand the flow of the naked glow - no one understands what I say. Is it because I live in a different realm and can’t be in this one?

The universe doesn’t exist or my mind resides on a faraway star, a space in a hidden universe.

I never conquered the space between the roses. The thorns bite to the quick when you try to pick one, a delicious hurt I want more of.  I savor the taste of blood as it rolls down my fingertips, a tribute to Eleanor, I suck my bloody finger, relish my taste when I'm too lazy to use the Astrogel. I slide my finger inside for more wetness. I lick my finger. It tastes so good, enjoy the scent and put my finger back on the buzzer.

Is this what they mean when they say you have 9 lives, do they mean that the universe I die in is different from the womb that birthed me.

What exactly changed that the fare went from a dime to two fifty in the timespan of half of a century or that the planet is hotter than before like summer days where they urge you to stay inside for your own good or you may explode inside the time it takes to walk outside to go where you decide to go.

Are people still the same or are they different? You have to shock people, force their eyes wide open, make them feel something and if you can’t do that in the span of a second then you’re second place, you’ll never be first.

If you have to ask the question you’ll never understand the answer no matter how many times it’s explained to you. You have to know, if you don’t know it’s like being dead, walking in a dense cloud of obnoxious smoke. Create a new trend, dubious dreams seem delirious. Next night I was there when it happened yet never witnessed the change.

The gap between space and time closes.



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*Author's note

*I actually do know that Mercurochrome is outlawed because of the mercury because when I had this experience of going to a drugstore and not finding it on shelves and no one knowing what it is anymore, I looked up why and learned. 

Thanks to Thomas Hubbard to corrected my spelling of Jimi.