What The Fuck?

If life is a song or blast,

I’ve Got No Luck at all.

Brand new silk panties get mussed in the dryer

Stuck on Velcro, silkiness totally ruined

Left with puckered withered drawers

Panties advertised to be all fine silky sweetness

My hard sweated buck consumed!

What the fuck? I’ve got no luck

With men I’m totally yuck

All I get is shmucks.

No need to misunderstand

Feeling all alone

He’s never there when you need him

What the fuck? I’ve got no luck

Like a lame duck, things happen in my life

No rhyme or reason

Feel like an alien

Lost and isolated in Britain

I don’t belong here

What the fuck? I’ve got no luck

Stuck in one crisis after another

A blur of bummer events, 

Lose people I love

Without saying goodbye

OK I admit letting time fly fast

One blast, cast running thru life’s asphalt jungle

Watch boastful people on TV

A plea to humanity to see who we really are, who I really am

Part of we, long lost glee of society, trinity of three

Me, myself and others, a presence of Thee

What the fuck? I’ve got no luck

Standing here, a muse in society without face

Displaced, disgraced, no one cares about my race

I’m doubly screwed, woman first, then Jew, Greek, Spanish, Turkish and Persian,

a few dollops of North African mixed with Middle Eastern.

I’m nobody, nothing to you, you’re nothing too.

Either way I lose

So why does it matter to you what I do.

I’m fucked out of luck no matter what I choose to do

What the fuck? I’ve got no luck

Clock’s struck one. I’ll turn into a pumpkin

Moon struck, sun struck and awestruck

Life should be a well-struck bargain

Instead of what we’ve done to it

David Died

Last night he struggled for his last breath

Flailing his arms, his paws pushed against my chest

Grabbing for me with his last bit of strength

Disbelief in his eyes –

And then they were devoid empty

calling out to the doctor

“He’s passed already”

She looked at his lean slim body

“No,” she said, “his rib cage is still moving,”
She put her stethoscope to his chest

She shook her head, “You’re right,” she’s said. “He’s gone.”

Questions along with accusations swim in my head

Why didn’t I recognize his symptoms?

Why didn’t I know?
I blame myself - feel guilty

He ate normally until yesterday.
Today he died in my arms

Went about his normal activities

I noticed his shallow breathing a week ago

but his behavior seemed normal

Today he meowed loudly, staring in my eyes.
I saw he was dying

The doctor proclaimed he was too far gone
Nothing could save him

My heart aches
I doubt it will ever be the same

Longing and sad I wait for him

Sitting at my computer I see
His shadow at the periphery of my vision

About to jump on my lap

He would sit for as long as I’d be still

His soft fur like silk against my hand

purring, rumbling beneath my hand

Bright blue eyes staring into mine

He was different from the moment he was born

A malleable mellow fellow demure and docile

David would remain in any position

Siamese are supposed to talk

Not him, he preferred touch

So beautiful and sweet

Why do they have to go first?

I want David back

In memory of David, born January 27th, 2007 – August 10th, 2010

David is the one on the left in both photos.