Peace Prayer

Need alone down time to survive threatening circumstances

Need to listen to the hurt, hear the cries

Regrets I try to forget to leave behind

I turned a blind eye to the answer

vow to leave doubt out of the question to my answer

lies survive my lips deny my heart fears a mishap on the horizon

An angel forsaking our great nation on the verge of denial

Does Gehinnom exist - a Jew’s purgatory

Refuse to accommodate doubts about heaven or hell: Gehinnom

Intensification exists without doubt

Fingertips feel my heartbeat with passion

the sensation alive in my drive

Pain sears through my womb pain,

rips my soul from a concentration camp

Arrive at a better nation based on the assumption

That they do what they want to and we do what we’re told

Secrets we hold near, they hurt but they stay there

I deny what we live through

live outside my head in the grip of a constant illusion

hear my conversations that never occur

I survive the delusion I live inside my head

the rich imaginings of what was said and never was or will be

die and I never said what I meant to say to you and now I never will

the pain never stops

I keep moving my feet to a beat only I hear, 
I try to help someone hear,

please hear but no one hears but me

Standing alone in a grim bleak reality, coming and going alone

Solutions flash by and are slashed off by reality as 

I follow the path of Dorothy unafraid of what proceeds me, lays in wait 

in a roughened bush burning by the side of an elegant brook 

in forest of deceit I wander hearing innocent animals slaughtered 

the cries calling out in my head instead 

of a reality frozen in a time frame 

waiting for a way out of the underflow 

I call to every passer by I see

Please, I beg, a hand please, I beg you don’t hurt me 

I’m only a first time offender 

I didn’t mean to raise my hand, 

absolution for the abortion, 

please stop the pollution, 

I hear the cries of an ancient race of animals now all dead, 

there’s no more of them to kill, only a lab created animal exists 

Please father, a benediction before I go and leave this universe

Can you give me a calculation of where you think I’ll be

Father I have sinned, 10 hail Mary’s and go your way and sin no more 

I promise, father I have sinned

Afraid there’s another life waiting somewhere to find me 

Explore, seeking to find my way out of mischief into
a glance of an inner richer universe

no exsanguination please

Try not to cry but the tears build in my eyes betray me

Water builds but doesn’t flow, yet you see me

I explode into another me who is she? 

I don’t know 

I didn’t make her 

she is me there bubbling beneath the blood 

warm ready to burst forth in flames fires 

burst forth from my mouth like a dragon breathing fire I

explode into a new me

once more a reinvention of who I want to be