Saturday, August 14, 2010

David Died

Last night he struggled for his last breath
Flailing his arms, his paws pushed against my chest
Grabbing for me with his last bit of strength
Disbelief in his eyes –
And then they were devoid empty
calling out to the doctor
“He’s passed already”
She looked at his lean slim body
“No,” she said, “his rib cage is still moving,”
She put her stethoscope to his chest
She shook her head, “You’re right,” she’s said. “He’s gone.”
Questions along with accusations swim in my head
Why didn’t I recognize his symptoms?
Why didn’t I know?
I blame myself - feel guilty
He ate normally until yesterday.
Today he died in my arms
Went about his normal activities
I noticed his shallow breathing a week ago
but his behavior seemed normal
Today he meowed loudly, staring in my eyes.
I saw he was dying
The doctor proclaimed he was too far gone
Nothing could save him
My heart aches
I doubt it will ever be the same
Longing and sad I wait for him
Sitting at my computer I see
His shadow at the periphery of my vision
About to jump on my lap
He would sit for as long as I’d be still
His soft fur like silk against my hand
purring, rumbling beneath my hand
Bright blue eyes staring into mine
He was different from the moment he was born
A malleable mellow fellow demure and docile
David would remain in any position
Siamese are supposed to talk
Not him, he preferred touch
So beautiful and sweet
Why do they have to go first?
I want David back

In memory of David, born January 27th, 2007 – August 10th, 2010

David is the one on the left in both photos.