Refugee in My Own Life

 Author's Note:

In a time when history is being rewritten, books are being banned, and voices silenced—I wrote this poem to push back. I don’t write for comfort. I write to remember, to call out, to testify. This piece is my reckoning—with the world, with injustice, and with myself.

Refugee in My Own Life

I’m a walking poem,
navigate the world with flair & intensity.
Combine it with swirled empathy,
mix in some fantasy, mind high density.
Lost in the immensity of sensitivity.

Creativity – diversity ignored,
difficult to withstand or understand animosity.
Lack of deniability or accountability.
Pray for solidarity in a world so complex.

Like a refugee in my own life,
can’t contain all the strife,
seek a perfect bite of life.

Equality is viewed as culpability.
Equanimity—a forgotten skill.
World a difficult pill to swallow.

The time is nigh to get up on high—
diversity now outlawed,
due to racism and fraud.

Maya Angelou, political activists, philosophers—excommunicated.
Passed 60 years outdated – filled with hatred.
Mein Kampf cultivated.

History teachings decimated, destroyed.
Banned books strive to erase what happened.
So many frustrated.
An imbalance of justice prevails.

This administration pales.
Live in a world where peace curtails.
Mind alive and rich, full of detail.
O’ ne’er will I fail or derail.

Must struggle forward to face
immortality ‘fore I turn to dust.

Woman is not less than man, yet treated so.
We are only human, not good and evil.

Rapacity controls men—
wonder how long before we’re all banned
from the grandstand,
live in a wasteland,
given the backhand
in a game we’re unfamiliar with.

Our great nation,
like an ablation of my mind—
need a vacation
from the aggravation of blaxploitation.

Not worth the energy I expend
as I extend myself.
Feel a stranger to myself
in a strange land.

Please Lord,
I need time to heal.

Comments: If this poem moved you, made you think, or stirred something inside—I'd love to hear from you. Feel free to share your reflections or how it resonates with your own experiences in the comments below.

 

 

 

I’M BRAINWASHED TOO

I follow the news

Stupid programs on TV

Get further away from where I want to be

Further away from me

From who I want me to be

But please, please don’t blame me

I’m a brainwashed woman

Can’t do nothing, nothing without

My baby

Can’t do nothing without

My babies

Brainwashed society

All of us, live like robots in history

Stand by; let shit happen

Like someone in another century

I’m scared to death,

Stop the craziness, go back, life’s a sudden hurricane

Admit there’s no control

Forget this laziness, TV

Resplendent in glory left for none to enjoy

All gone in the bush with a game of trump

Writ in desire of wild fires burning

Everyone hurting

What would it take to bring a world together?

To stop mass slaughters, human + animal

When will we see, realize what’s to be done

All of us blind, a brainwashed society, a scorching society visionless inside

Dead washed Brainwashed, whitewashed, everything washed since infancy

Is it possible to escape destiny, fight to survive lose so many, will it count to bring one back?

Dubblex and I figure when you’re in New Orleans; you should cross the Mississippi so we decide to take the ferry back and forth. On our way back, the man driving the ferry came out of his control room and made a beeline right over. 

He wore a very large rimmed oiled hat to keep water from splashing in his face. He wore an oiled knee length raincoat along with knee high wading boots. Greeted us like he knew us. “Hey,” he said, “Seeing you guys, reminds me of Boston, where I grew up and my mom would bundle me up.” Pegged us right away; we wondered what’d we done to give it away. Duh?

Without further ado, he continued. “I’ll tell you what the problem is, the world cannot support so many people – because we have decimated our resources. Thus there’s a limited amount to go around. We can’t support this burgeoning humanity that keeps growing. The more limited the resources, the more we fight for them. Everything in our world is a result of what we do, like prolonging life so much that it costs more to live longer, increasing the limited access to resources – so that’s why we have wars and inhumane societies.” He tipped his hat. “Nice meeting you folks.” He turned & walked away with a small wave. “I have to bring her in. Goodbye now! Enjoy the rest of your trip.”

I recall his words …

So strange, surreal, I sit and wonder about this conversation. Does he pick someone every trip and tell him this? I consider and wonder, is this real?

*another true poetry story by Joy Leftow