Heart’s Navigation into My Soul

Slowly painfully melt into oblivion, fight, make my way to differentiation, not game, 

work for concentration, live in a hazy intoxication of my making

Not wise to make assumptions leads to my demised corruption 

Not about my occupation still kicking today for another day

Liberation from knowledge about his medication

What that means in expression or the conclusion

Life is a series of reflections 

A projection of ourselves like live cinema screen

Regression into vegetation – initiation into some cruel occupation of my soul wanders

Through listless impressions. dedication to a life I know nothing of

Exploration of a faceless alibi, compression of frustration, I hold back

Seek restitution, restoration for what I never owned

I want to drink a bottle of wine, talk about hard times

I want to sit and drink this wine, sit and worry about my decline

I want to drink this wine and think about fine times

I want to climb up high and forget reality

I want to forget slime balls I meet and center on my bloodline

Settle on bloodline, like settling on a landmine

Know life is on a deadline, it’s asinine

Trying to believe in divine isn’t the goldmine 

Want to conquer the fierce divide

I want to live in oblivion 

I can’t take the pain

Pain rears his ugly head disdainfully

Again and again…

Pain reverberates, vibrates in my head

hear the only relief is death 

want to avoid that choice

Live inside of my head

Avoid the world outside 

Daddy preached the world is a dangerous place

Filled with pitfalls, delusions of grandeur  

Fear says insolation is perfect solution

Life lived inside dreams, hidden away – Daddy's way

Seek relief in dreams 

Search for who I could be

If only I’d stop hiding away

insane in the membrane of my brain

I struggle to stay sane

REINCARNATION TO A NEW LIFE

You need to wake up, live in a daze

a haze of days

Morning noon and night

It ain’t right but there’s no way to stop you

Like talking the living to the dead

Entire life living in the red,

sleep and rest in the bed

it’s my bad nothing eases the pain

pills night and day - no way to stop you

The mental and physical anguish remains the same as you push life to exsanguinate

your blood thins day by day, tire so easy it’s all breezy and good,

you examine your mind, it’s more than a faze

but it’s all good

You explain the drugs are legally prescribed by many different doctors who listen to your complaints

They prescribe pills to alleviate the gaze of hazy pain you live in

Describe pain where it maintains a domicile in your head –

it possesses you, obsesses you search for a nonexistent cure

Can’t accept the prognosis, 18 drugs a day all prescribed to the beat of your heart.

Slows the glow / the glue holding you together disappears in my heart.

Another pill won’t cure your ills. Determine the excess of the access or access to excuse

Excuse me, I meant excess the distress, there’s no elixir to create a victor,

It’s all downhill by doctor’s goodwill

I profess I’m consumed and confused;

is it the syndrome about which comes first - the chicken or the egg?

A stitch in time ain’t worth a dime, do you have the time

On the road to enlightenment, forget sentiments the buck stops here.

Watch on the sidelines while u struggle for a quick exit

Living life like you’re fit to be tied, live life on an incline

Live the fast lane

You’ll regret it, lose out in the end living inside your mind won’t suffice or change the end. Tell myself and tell you.

My words fade in the southwestern wind turning southerly

while we dismiss lists

Stuck in an abyss, lost in time, fade in the dreamer

Stare at your demeanor, lost and found, I stand my ground while Jill comes tumbling after and Jack can’t find his crown

Search through the valley of death

Surmise the crease in your pants

Cry another dance, dry tears in my eyes.

My vision blurred by raindrops falling. 

Remember to see the sea widens

fear to die in the midst of a dream becomes real

You will heal from the power of words I implore