Third time's the charm for Cleo's Poem

GOLDEN GIRL

Cleo, stunning and engaging

Ravaged by cancer in 6 weeks

Fast-growing tumor behind nasal passages

Pressing into her right ear, nose, later her right eye

Cleo's will was strong but cancer’s more powerful

Possessive to a fault

She owned me, not me, her

Cleo was mistress of my home

Very frustrating when she would not permit other females

Except for her mother in our domicile

The way she tilted her head, curled her lip

Like she was Elvis reborn in a cat, looking in my eyes.

Poor girl!

Spunky to a fault

What will we do without her?

Beautiful …

Golden silky hair became unkempt

Weight fell from her frail body like autumn leaves

Left with no choice

Hope gone, my heart bereft

Want to hold on to her purrs and love

Feel her head pushing against my body

Her rough tongue licks my hand: I pet her

Her scent still on the shirt I wore Friday

Unable to purr, nor eat, the tumor grew fast, blocking the way

Higgins thought AMC could remove part of the tumor

As they also mistakenly thought when they assured me

She’d be the better to try, 50 - 50 chance, after all,

Higgins already tried and failed but believed they’d succeed

Never listen to vets when your gut dictates a different route

Not sure if they wanted to help her or wanted young interns to learn

Lessons learned too late

Can't hold back fate

Learned a few more peaceful days

Not surgery trauma choices

Anesthesia wrecked an already starving soul striving to survive

I regret not continuing using subcutaneous water

Combined with finger feeding baby food

Instead doctors installed a feeding tube

Made her gag even worse than before

 

Doctors almost convinced me her tiny

Shrinking body could handle radiation fine

Sure glad I didn't listen, only wish I hadn’t

Let them put her small shrinking body through surgical trauma

Can’t forgive myself, made her suffering worse

Let interns learn and experiment, when

In the end, everything they did at AMC made it worse,

Kind of like our government

Letting go of Cleo was the hardest thing I've ever done.

There will never be another Cleo

Knowing Cleo’s out of misery is no consolation

Miss her love, her energy, her beauty, her excitation

Flame point Siamese with deep blue eyes; visualize her exotic look,

Feel her strange personality

Cat fanciers classify Flame point Siamese as “Exotic”

Even though Cleo clearly is pure Siamese, through and through

Brushing Cleo’s fur made her purr loudly

Helped reduce cat hair in environment

Lay awake; want to feel her body press against mine

Want to stare into her eyes, Cleo lying on her back staring back

Stretching her small slim body, her limbs against mine

Urging me to stroke her and moving to let me know where

Purrs so loud I wondered how she did it

Gone forever, she lives on in my heart,

Try to cope with loss, and remember

Visualize Cleo

With her mother, Starr, and bossy Sphinx Davie

Starr screaming for Cleo

Inseparable in life

All of us bereft, confused

Miss her warmth

Cleo, … gone!

Life cut short, 9 years’ soul

Mercy, mercy, please...

Cleo would have been 9 years old December 27th. I was forced to put her down as the tumor pressed on the back of her throat and no food or water could pass. It was growing fast and had already grown into her ear and infected it. Then it spread behind her left eye. 

First The Humane Society had seen her and thought it was an ear infection. Then when I brought her back they thought it was a cold. When I reported that the back of her throat was completely closed, they sedated her and tried to reach the tumor thinking it was a polyp and they reported it was too deep and they could not reach it. 

I should have listened to my gut when my urge was to take her home and let her rest giving her fluids subcutaneously, and baby food and nutriment on my finger. Instead, on the advice of doctors who suggested she see specialists at the Animal Medical Center, I took her there for a consult. They said they thought they could get the polyp and that there was a good chance it was not cancer and that they would insert a feeding tube. I thought the feeding tube would be in the stomach but it was placed in her throat, which only aggravated her gagging reflex. After a couple of hours of anesthesia and experimental work, they saw they could do nothing and from only looking doctors were able to report it was a very fast-growing cancer. When she came home she was much worse from the entire trauma. I would have had to put her down anyway but she would have had a few days in peace with her mother, pictured below next to her. 

The tumor grew very fast and was invading every organ in every part of her head. 

God Bless Cleo! May she rest in peace and may the next birth be blessed.