Sunday, September 28, 2008

Friendship

The world continues to become more anonymous with online networking. I have an entire set of contacts on fb & elsewhere who I will probably never meet in person . Contacts I nurture to promote myself & DubbleX & sometimes other writers too. I give myself credit for this networking because before me DubbleX had never been published. He told me before I worked with him no one else had ever encouraged his writing. I have faith in his writing. I got his first poem published before we actually became a couple. D isn't the kind to bother with submitting or reading things. He works more on the creative instinctive side. Perhaps it is my personality that is better suited to networking combined with creative pursuits. D still insists he is happy to have me submit his things but he's already very busy. This makes my busy life even more busy. I try to manage my time to get everything done that needs doing. 

You'd be shocked if you knew all the shit I pack in one day without even mentioning daily vacuuming & cat littler cleaning plus all our other daily routines. This morning when I opened my internet mail there was a letter from a woman who began as an internet contact. She was searching for a cat. I had recently rescued one so I invited her over to see the black and white beauty. At that time, over three years ago, when I met her she was going through a lot. When I took her home with her new cat it seemed like her apartment was in shambles. I worried that she didn't have food or the fortitude to care for an animal. I showed up several times with soup & bread I had made in addition to some cat food. 

Surprisingly over the next few weeks my friend's condition improved. My friend, Niambi, began to clean up & throw out the unneeded garbage filling the small space in which she lived. She told me the cat helped her to rearrange the order in her life and that he'd actually guide her in what needed to be done. Niambi, needless to say, is also an artist. We actually performed together in a show I put together called the The Art Stroll, which takes place up in my neck of the woods. Since Niambi lives in Harlem which is generally included in our area, I was able to include her. Niambi is primarily an actress and singer but she also writes. As proof of this I am including in today's blog the poem I received from her this morning which got me to do what she wanted. I called her immediately. I am sharing it here because it is a good poem & also to show how our lives get so complicated we forget how important keeping in touch is to those around us who care for us & depend on our contact. GIVE ME SOME CONTACT by Niambi Steele I just wanna know one thing-- do you ever speak on the telephone anymore Or has that part of life become too much of a chore Duly noted is the genius of your epitomes and metaphors But Jesus Christ I wanna get back to the used to bes and gone befores I know that isn't fair to your new found sense of discoveries and recoveries But have a heart for us old farts that still live in our reveries and miseries Some of us just want our friends to be a familiarity Not a new design on a runway like a freaked out fashion week. I want to be part of your joyous new discoveries But it’s hard to imagine someone who remains such a mystery. I've never even been introduced to the new man in your world But every time I turn around I'm forced to meet him in the words he's learned to twirl. I'd like to meet him at a gathering meant for more than just you two I feel so out of place meeting him through you The world I live in is populated and free The world you live in seemingly has no place for me... ... and I feel it every time I get electronic, cyber sonic word windfalls Instead of incoming, purposeful, personal phone calls.

6 comments:

  1. Awesome! Thanks for all you do! I'm happy to call you my friens, and hope that one day we'll get to meet you and DubbleX in person, too.

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  2. Contact is so precious. the give and take of our relating and our considerations to and fro become a richness we all can enjoy.

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  3. I was mulling this over just the other day, how the majority of my friendships are with people I've never met. There's joy in that, and I think it's a good thing, but like all good things it can be harmful when taken to the extreme. We need personal connections. We need to feel like we matter.

    And some days, we just really need a hug...

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  4. Anonymous12:31 AM

    Thanks, Joy, for sharing this wonderful poems. i treasure my friends a lot far or near and that I wish and pray that we will meet someday. Hugs!

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  5. Thanks Joy for the good vibes and kind words. I am so happy that I could inspire you to realize that it is the human contact that causes us to thrive and grow. As a social worker, I know you are familiar with the phrase "Failure to Thrive"-- a term often used with children and/or adults who have had little to no human contact and they cannot live-- they withdraw from the life process and die. They don't have any other disease process, illness or anything-- it is simply that they have not had any human contact and they die. I took care of infants in a court ordered program as well as elderly adults and this is real. If anyone out there wants to volunteer to give human contact to children and/or adults who have no one, it is a very rewarding feeling. Thank you Joy--- You kept me alive.

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