For Nina Simone

I wish I could say I knew how it feels to be free

I wish I could fly till tired – and like a bird, settle in a tree

I wish I could say my tits are so big because I breastfed too long

Two and a half years pulling stretches tits out

Maybe so big from eating chickens force-fed hormones,

I think my problem is memory rot, because I have trouble focusing

I need a friend to stick with me through thick and thin

Literally, physically, emotionally, mentally, lean and leaner

both metaphorically and literally,

A special friend who will give me what I need

Who will be there when need

When I do deeds that make me feel alone

Who will be there for me as we agreed?

Someone to stand beside me when I succeed

Someone to be near when I fail but tried

Stand there with me while I wish they’d chosen me

But realize when it was time to pick

They didn’t pick me

I stood there under their watchful gaze, hoping,
yet knowing they won’t choose me

I’m not who you think I am,

The one you see with bright smiling gaze, nothing fazes her,

Turns her back fearlessly on hazing, moving in stride

I go it alone day after day

Like I’m in another time zone in the artic zone

I want a friend to see me through thick and thin

So please look the other way

Don’t say what you think you see because you can’t see me

Turning stones with my last breath I cry out friend!

There you are

Stand there beside me

I want a friend to see me through thick and thin

To understand my moans, use me

to help me chase away the blues that plague me –

Chase those blues away with surety like night fades to day –

I want a friend to see me through thick and thin

A friend who can give and take

Take generosity turns

I need a friend to be there when I let go, 

when I can’t hit high notes that sing songs to my heart

Need to play to know better days ahead

When your lips speak lies, I'll hold my head high

I need a friend to heal my blues – chase them away

Help me see sunny days, forget mud slinging out of tune

Songs that have no rhythm or rhyme to my heart of gold

Take this heart of gold and make it mine

I want a friend to see me through thick and thin

Make a shrine to this golden heart of mine

Poetry, Porno and Chess

Do all while listening to Bach, Maclemore and Jill Scott

Who could ask for anything more than poetic thought and porno

Oooo baby that’s so hot

A challenging chess game

accompanying a good soundtrack

No skin to skin, no one’s emotions to think about

A fantasy in place of human energy

Oooo ahhh uh - huh, that’s the way, uh - huh, I like it

Ponder my next move while analyzing

where my online opponent’s queen goes

Before calling checkmate

Not sure if it’s fate that each day awaits

I take the bait and make the same old moves

Listen to music asleep and awake,

Headphones like body parts,

rids me of my soul aches

Play chess hours on end till finally forget how many

games I’ve played, maybe a hundred and twenty

Listen to hip-hop, rock and roll, soul

Day after day sit on my ass –

Write a few lines of poetry, scroll through porno videos,

Play chess till it comes out my ass

I’m a bit morass, but dig it, I’ve got class

Twenty - four - seven, play this round till I fall out or die

Whichever comes first,

before my next prescribed pill high

It’s my life and I’ll live how I want to

Live how I want to

Do what I want to do

Write poetry, watch wacked out shockingly violent porno

Listen to the Stones and Les Misérables

Contemplate my next strategic move

Poetry, chess and Porno

Life is so – so good!

Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow -

My latest practice.  And of course it stands to reason my best recording was the one lost - where I thought I pressed the record button and didn't.

My music teacher, Wren Harringon, lost her father on her recent emergency trip home, so a short trip turned longer and I am not afforded her expertise. Wren looked hard to find this Karaoke version for me to practice. I looked and found different styles and tempos but not this one. The light voiceover is meant to use as a prompt and with my ADD I do need prompts.

I want to record this singing along with it to correct the current issues. 

I'm going to be a grandma

Some people have already begun to call me grandma Violet.

I am very excited. Baby's to be born the end of April or perhaps beginning of May.

I bought the proud parents a stroller and this is the poem I put in the card.

Poem For Aliya & Joey

Dear Baby Boy

Baby’s almost here

Your child forever - to hold dear

His birth date close to our hearts

Family and friends celebrate

Watching us gather together in love

He awaits his fate to join our world

Son soon to bask in adoration

Leaving the wombs safe vibrations

After a long sleepy gestation

Finally meets his family of creation