Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Reinvent The Universe ...

Need alone down time
To survive threatening circumstances
Need to listen to the hurt, hear the cries
Regrets I try to forget, leave behind
I turn a blind eye to the answer
Vow to leave doubt out of the question to my answer
Lies survive my lips deny my heart
Fear a mishap on the horizon
An angel forsaking our great nation on the verge of denial
Does Gehinnom exist? - Jew’s purgatory
Refuse to accommodate doubts about heaven or hell:
Intensification exists no doubt
Fingertips feel my heart beat with passion
Sensation alive in my drive
Pain sears through my womb
Pain, rips my soul from a concentration camp
Revive a better nation based on the assumption
That they do what they want to and we do what we’re told
Secrets we hold near, they hurt but they stay there
I deny what we live through
Live outside my head in the grip of a constant illusion
Hear conversations that never occur
Survive the delusion I live inside my head
Rich imaginings of what was said
What never was nor will be
Die and I never said what I meant to say to you and now I never will
The pain never stops
I keep moving my feet to a beat only I hear,
I try to help someone hear,
Please hear but no one hears but me
Standing alone in a grim bleak reality, coming and going alone
Solutions flash by and are slashed off by reality as 
I follow the path of Dorothy unafraid of what precedes me, lays in wait 
In a roughened bush burning by the side of an elegant brook 
In forest of deceit I wander hearing innocent animals slaughtered 
Cries calling out in my head instead 
Reality frozen in a time frame 
Waiting for a way out of the underflow 
I call to every passer by I see
Please, I beg, a hand please, I beg you don’t hurt me 
I’m only a first time offender 
I didn’t mean to raise my hand, 
Absolution for the abortion, 
Please stop the pollution, 
I hear the cries of an ancient race of animals now all dead, 
There’s no more of them to kill, only a lab created animal exists 
Please father, a benediction before I go and leave this universe
Can you give me a calculation of where you think I’ll be?
Father I have sinned, 10 hail Marys and go your way and sin no more 
I promise, father I have sinned
Afraid there’s another life waiting somewhere to find me 
Explore, seeking to find my way out of mischief into a glance of an inner richer universe
No exsanguination please
Try not to cry but the tears build in my eyes betray me
Water builds but doesn’t flow, yet you see me
I explode into another me who is she? 
I don’t know 
I didn’t make her 
She is I bubbling beneath the blood 
Warm ready to burst forth in flames fires 
Burst forth from my mouth like a dragon breathing fire I
Explode into a new me
Once more a reinvention of whom I want to be